January 10, 2015

Things not to say to depressed people, and how you're completely wrong when you pass judgement about suicides

 Why some people's minds try to kill them


  1. Very good piece.

    I don't think anyone can really understand how hard it is for people who suffer from depression.

    I had one severe bout of depression in my early twenties. Couldn't keep food down. Took no enjoyment from life. Had dark thoughts..

    I wouldn't wish something like that on my worst enemy..

    Broken bones heal..

    Mental illness is very misunderstood..

    And because it's not so obvious (to many) people just cannot comprehend how debilitating it is.

    I only have some small understanding, because I have had some limited experience with depression.

    And thoughts of ending it all by driving off that bridge I daily crossed.

  2. It's a good piece, isn't it.

    I always find the ugly, nasty - ignorant - statements that people make when they hear of a suicide to be particularly repellant, Kath. Selfish. But they had everything. But they liked people so much. How dare they. Etc, etc. Suicide is different to any other death, just not in the vile way that people who've never thought it or never been close to it can even begin to imagine.

    I do wonder if people stop for even one second to consider the impact of THEIR words on family and friends affected by suicide. Mostly, I'm pretty sure they don't. In fact they seem to think they're doing grieving people a service by pointing out how selfish/inadequate was the person they're grieving over. They seem to think it helps to essentially say the dead person is undeserving of grief.

    Or when Williams died, I heard one woman say, with absolute seriousness: he was so funny, and funny people are usually the most depressed people on the inside. A pile of articles about sad/funny people were also trotted out, despite the obvious fact that MOST comedians don't actually commit suicide, any more than all people in the music industry die at 27 years of age.