November 18, 2014

What we learned this week


  1. Anonymous8:14 PM

    KK: sideshow freak - putting the arse in narcissism - and that's all I have to say.

    Except for: excuse me while I throw up - violently.


  2. Yes, it's repellant, and while her bottom has its own gravitational field, the man in the sexist shirt at a press conference landed a tiny little machine on a comet. For this he wept and apologised - about the shirt, not the comet thing. What level of grovelling, then, is warranted from KK and her entire klan?

  3. Anonymous10:38 PM

    Didn't know he was the comet guy, how cool is he (great shirt). Maybe he could put the freak into orbit for us, and be done with it - that would be orbit around the sun - an orbit just a few miles away from that star would be perfect.

    And he could send the rest of the freak's family as well.

    They would not be missed - except possibly by Geoffff.

    Anyway, I think my age is catching up with me - so much just doesn't make sense anymore, in this our brave new world of selfies, a la carte selflies, smorgasbord selfies, and selfie selfies....and so on....

    Get a load of this:

    I went to a 60th birthday party a few weeks ago at a restaurant up at the Central Coast (in that uncivilised state of NSW - you know, where all them peasants live). It all started like any normal party - and then the fucking phones started clicking away like crazy. Holey shit it was a full on - pics to the right of me, pics to the left of me, and pics staring me in the face, even as I munched on me meal. And then the most amazing thing happened:

    Time for the birthday cake. They got it out of the box, and placed it on a table with the a stack of wee plates and wee forks. I must admit I was feeling like a bit of cake and looked forward to wrapping me laughing gear around a chunk of it. But the fucking camera came out and pictures were taken of the cake, and then we all had to stand around the cake and more pictures were taken. And then patrons from other tables joined in, and more fucking pictures were taken. About 15 minutes later and after about 227 photos were taken guess what happened?

    wait for it.....

    They put the fucking cake back into it's fucking box and it disappeared for fucking ever.

    Fuck me dead I thought: that takes the cake.

    I don't get it - I really really don't get it.

    Should I top meself now - or just selfie meself into narcissistic nirvana?

    I need help


  4. So, what you're saying is that they had a prop cake, for the photo opportunity, but no actual cake for the birthday person, or - more important - for the guests.


    Was crossing over to Flinders Street the other day, as I do most working days, and there in the middle of the road were a couple of guys doing ... something. Took a minute to work it out, as they were doing little circles, and each of them was holding a stick, around two foot long. The penny dropped: what I took to be sticks were clipped onto their mobiles, which meant they could take better selfies, and their going around in circles was getting shots of themselves from different angles at that famous Melbourne intersection.