Malcolm Turnbull, the vigorously unpopular leader of the opposition, dipped his toe into biblical territory during the week, proving that the path to hell is paved with pollies daring to use the lord's words in convoluted and mortifying ways that are best left to the privacy of one's home.
"Turnbull turned his eyes to the heavens and declared, "Now in the New Testament we are told in Corinthians of faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love, and that is so true. Both Lucy (his wife) and I believe very firmly in and practice love to all we can."Way too much information.
Not dwelling too long on his marital love practices, Turnbull attempted to reassure his audience over the global shortage of water:
"Malcolm ... got very wound up about the shortage of water on the Earth, and turned to the Bible to reassure us things can improve.
"It is interesting that in the Bible water is a constant metaphor," he extolled. "Of course, that is how we are baptised as Christians in water, literally.
"But as a dry country the idea of water, its unpredictability and its importance occurs throughout the Bible, so I was pleased to see that you have highlighted in Isaiah 41, verse 17, this passage: When the poor and needy/are dying of thirst/and cannot find water/ I, the Lord God of Israel,/will come to their rescue. I won't forget them. I will make rivers flow on mountain peaks. I will send streams/to fill the valleys./Dry and barren land/will flow with springs/and become a lake."
Malcolm the lover of all then turned to Psalm 126, verse 4, which reads "Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like the streams in the Negev".
And just like that, a little gaze to the heavens, a little random scripture, and our water woes were solved.