February 23, 2009

Oscars 2009

Miley Cyrus dressed as a snow flake.

Angelina Jolie dressed in unadorned, strapless black, and managed to look somewhat more tedious than she did the last 28 times she dressed in the same manner.

The Ledger family were dignified and understated in wretched circumstances.

Lisa Rinna's upper lip appeared to be trying to make a run for freedom and a condominium all its own. They were smeared in mauve frosting.

Sarah Jessica Parker was swathed in white tulle, all very born-again-bride.

Mary Hart dragged an old crinkled floral bedspread out of the attic and flung it about her person.

Heidi Klum indulged her childhood fantasy of being an orange character in The Jetsons.

Kate Winslet rivaled Angelina for absolute boredomness. Navy/black/plain/blah-dee-blah.

Beyonce wore an enormous figure hugging black and gold dress, heavy mother of the bride fabric, with a humongous poof at the bottom.

Whoopi was frightening in a floaty leopard skin number.

Jessica Biel didn't wake up in time to dress, so grabbed the satin top sheet and a pillow slip to tuck into the front of the make-shift bodice.

Some people won Oscars.

The End.



4 comments:

  1. A pretty good summation I reckon

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  2. The last Oscars I watched was the one in which "Silence of the Lambs" won as best picture and that was only because I was rooting for it. I haven't looked back.

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  3. You've missed an awful lot of frightful frocks in that time Cubicle, not to mention many excruciating speeches.

    Or is that excruciating frocks and frightful speeches ...

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