July 6, 2008

Hear, hear!

St Kilda residents are totally pissed off with their suburb being littered with piss-heads, this, despite the fact that the sole reason for St Kilda's existence has always been to accommodate drunks, junkies and women of the night.

Didn't they notice before they moved in?

Any-hoo, some of the residents have come up with a wish list to protect their suburb from undesirables, such as:

Banning backpackers from the suburb because many were too boisterous.

Banning non-residents from entering the entertainment precinct at night because police data suggested most of the troublemakers lived outside the municipality.

Fitting residents with ankle bracelets to distinguish them from visitors.

Banning venues from serving alcohol after 11pm to avoid drunks roaming the streets all night.

More than happy to oblige!

I'll be the first to offer never to venture to St Kilda.

I'm especially supportive of the idea that residents of St Kilda be fitted with ankle bracelets. All the better for easy identification and shipment back if they attempt to sully the rest of Melbourne by escaping the confines of their suburb.

St Kilda push to ban outsiders


  1. Just south of the river, it's a wonderful town -
    The housing values go up while the living values go down!

    I was around St Kilda last night, went to see Vertigo and Rear Window at the Astor. Damn near got caught in the area after midnight, too - I ended up catching a taxi with a similar marooned filmgoer. If they want visitors to the area to leave at night, they should provide better transport!

  2. Whoa, beaut double Timmy. Did you have a choc top? Bestest ever choc tops at the Aston.

    Frightening that you were nearly stranded in St Kilda, anything could have happened - you might have had to get awfully drunk and wander the streets disturbing residential mull parties.

  3. A choc top - AND a creaming soda. They are a classy venue!