March 21, 2008

Even Hillary has to be somewhere

Newsflash: being alive inherently entails being somewhere at all times.

The American National Archives has released Hillary Clinton's daily schedules from her time as first lady and the first thing the US media jumped on was "where was Hillary" when Bill was getting a blowjob.

(For anyone who has not read The Starr Report: contrary to what you probably believe, the encounters were few, and if not for Bill being POLTUS, would have been considered nothing more than a tawdry fling with a random chick, rather than an affair of any duration or import. Let me be blunt here: a few blowjobs that end with a wank, is not a tryst over which to swoon, either sexually or emotionally.)

This will obviously come as a massive surprise to lots of people, but, gee, when someone's partner is diddling about, the other person tends to, invariably, be somewhere at the moments that their nearest and dearest is doing the diddling. Amazing, hey?

"Hillary Clinton spent the night in the White House on the day her husband had oral sex with Monica Lewinsky [while wearing that blue dress], and may have actually been in the White House when it happened, according to records of her schedule released today by the National Archives."

On the up side, this helps to reinforce Hillary's consistent claim that although she was not the president, she was the next best thing - being "in the room" for the important moments of Bill's presidency and being "instrumental", even though she wasn't "at the table".

Having suffered in this past week under a burden of proof that she had bugger-all to do with initiating or getting child health insurance legislation passed, Hillary must be well pleased that there is now evidence that she was somewhere and was doing something during at least one crucial moment in her hubby's eight year presidency.

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