August 8, 2007

Professional diagnosis sought

First there was some momentary noise about implementing a superfluous blogging code of conduct, so as to bring about an unnecessary level of civility to the metaverse, now some waggish “loosely formed coalition of left-leaning” folk want to burden innocent bloggers with union membership, all for the sake of imbibing the pajama-ugg-boot-clad with a professional veneer.

By joining a union, you too could be deemed a “professional” some-thing-or-other, or thing-a-mi-gig. That’s all it takes, funnily enough. So if you’re off getting a degree or working your way up the corporate ladder, forget it, find a union, any union, and you’ll be a professional.

There are, as your little imaginations would have already run riot figuring out, many sound and serious reasons for flagging the urgent need for a blogging union, such as:

"I sure would like to have that union bug on my Web site," said Burgard, a blogger who uses the moniker Bendy Girl.

[Burgard] hopes that regardless the form, the labor movement ultimately will help bloggers pay for medical bills. It's important, she said, because some bloggers can spend hours a day tethered to computers as they update their Web sites.

"Blogging is very intense — physically, mentally," she said. "You're constantly scanning for news. You're constantly trying to come up with information that you think will mobilize your readers. In the meantime, you're sitting at a computer and your ass is getting wider and your arm and neck and shoulder are wearing out because you're constantly using a mouse."

Clearly not quite the “Bendy Girl” she claims to be.

[See, you can’t trust bloggers as far as you can defenestrate them.]

[BTW – can anyone explain the whole “mobilize your readers” concept? Mobilize? Readers? Not computing.]

In seeking comment from medical professionals, Dr Kildare said that the left-leaning folk in search of a union:

"quite likely suffered borderline personality disorder, and were most likely borderline bloggers".

His colleague Professor Clooney declined to offer any prognosis without conducting thorough physical examinations, but was prepared to suggest that:

the wrist ache almost certainly has nothing to do with obsessively moving a mouse".

He hung up abruptly, without elaborating.

[Oi, could someone untether me now. Anyone? Oi, seriously, I'm tethered here, and my arse is getting bigger and bigger as I type, and I swear my neck is going to, like, fall over like a rotting tree trunk.]


  1. Anonymous6:58 PM

    Fun Facts About Unions

    * The word "union" comes from "un" mean "not" and "ion" meaning "energized."

    * Unions force what they want through strikes where they refuse to work out of principle instead of just out of laziness.

    * If the sun ever unionized, we'd get only four hours of daytime a week.

    But seriously - a bloggers union? Aren't bloggers - in the majority - self-employed or working in their own recreation time? Do other recreational pursuits need a union?

    The 'Walking to the Shops Union' (targetting the horrors of uneven footpaths) and the 'Sunday BBQ Union' (enforcing standards for grilling the snags)?

    It's silly stuff, indeed.

  2. I call bullshit on that first point, Dylan. As a quick browse of the Etymology Online website will confirm, the word 'Union' does not come from the joining of 'Un' and 'Ion':

    1410, "action of joining one thing to another," from O.Fr. union (12c.), from L.L. unionem (nom. unio) "oneness, unity, a uniting," also in L. meaning "a single pearl or onion," from unus "one," from PIE *oinos (see one).

    (On the other hand, Jack Handey did say 'In order to understand 'Mankind', we must understand where the word came from. In this case, 'Mankind' is made out 'Mank' and 'Ind', and we don't know what either of those are.')

    Unions have their uses, of course, though a bloggers union? That assumes, somewhat bizarrely, that blogging is a profession like any other. (Well, I don't see the money coming in). And thinking about some of the people I've met online, I can't imagine joining a union with them...

  3. Oh, the Etymology Online link:

  4. Hmmm, my apologies Dylan. I see you were recycling some internet humour, as signified by your 'but seriously'. Sorry, old chap.

  5. "And thinking about some of the people I've met online, I can't imagine joining a union with them..."


    *Caz tosses main of hair in elaborate manner. Offers look of boredom and generalised snobbery.*

  6. BTW - can't believe you didn't "get" Dylan first time up.

    The heading "fun facts about unions" didn't tip you off Timmy?

  7. I was thinking of the nuttier commenters on the big political blogs like Tim Blair. Even better examples are Larvatus Prodeo and Club Troppo, where most of the commenters are from the left, some who would possibly join a blog union. They've got plenty of ratbags.

    Hasty comments on my part, Caz.

  8. Oh, Dylan is probably entirely nutty in his own special way, but aside from that, he's a clever Aussie living in France and recently married to a lovely lady.

    (Never did say thanks for letting us see the wedding pics Dylan, lovely gesture to let us share in the fun and happiness.)

    Grrrrrr .... Larvatus Prodeo and Club Troppo .... oh Tim, how they make my eyes water, and blur, much in the way that W.D still does (my mind goes blank, I start contemplating the urgency of giving the toilet a good scrub, or I suddenly find time to examine my cuticles ... ).

    Still enjoy reading Blair from time to time, he is clever, but I give the comments a miss; paradoxically, he is let down rather badly by his audience (well, the ones who comment).

  9. Anonymous10:59 PM

    No problems, Caz. :-)

    And no worries, Tim. The link only came to mind because it popped up on my RSS feed yesterday afternoon and made me smile. The sense of humour might be the nutty part (think it's almond flavoured). :)

  10. Silly bloggers. Unions are for people who derive remuneration
    for their work. I have yet to see a penny for my blogging time.