August 28, 2007

Miss Twaddle

Miss Teen USA entrant, Miss South Carolina Lauren Upton, when asked a darstardly tricky question from the pageant host, very nearly carried off her imbroglio of an answer with something not quite resembling aplomb.

"[Miss Upton] pointed out the cartographic deficiency at the heart of the world's richest and most powerful nation.

Contestants vying to be Miss Teen USA were asked why they think one fifth of Americans can't locate the US on a world map.

"I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps," Ms Upton said. This problem didn't stop her promoting the American education system.

"Our education over here in the US should help the US … uh, should help South Africa… and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children."
While not being awarded the diadem, Ms Upton still managed to take fourth place in the pageant, which possibly signified the judges indifference to American ignorance, and an even greater indifference to the indolent minds of Miss Teen entrants.

We can safely conclude that future generations of Americans will continue to be incapable of finding their way to their local primary school, or locating their country on a map, and Miss Teen USA entrants will prosper.


  1. Anonymous6:36 PM

    We saw this on CNN last night and were cringing. The CNN anchors - one of whom seemed to be an Aussie though I couldn't place him - were poking fun at her and we laughed along...until the wife wondered just how the talking head would manage without his teleprompter.

  2. The thing is Dylan, how would everyone else have answered such a bloody idiotic question?

    "why can't one fifth of Americans locate the US on a world map."

    They're idiots?

    How the hell would I know.

    Go ask them yourself.

    Given the question, the first half of her answer was pure genius.

    They don't have maps, of course!


    Sure, the rest of her answer quickly revealed a psychotic breakdown of some kind, but look, the young lass is damned smart.

  3. Anonymous9:29 PM

    Hey Caz! How 'bout you and I hit
    the Golden Arch, for one of their delectable Big Macs!
    My shout! Heh heh heh heh!

    *Sorry cubie! Couldn't resist. Ain't no accountin' for taste, I reckon!*

  4. I know Kath, it's kinda sad, in its own small way. :-D

    I'll grab some "fries", rarely, if I'm totally starving on my way home from work, and if Macca's is the only food nearby, but I've never figured out how they even make chips taste like nothing. You've really got to be putting effort into it to make spuds taste of nothing.

    I still remember having one of the breakfast muffins once, many years ago: I had to go into the office on a Saturday, and was starving, with no food places near work, so got the egg and bacon muffin - my gawd, I nearly barfed! It was truly revolting. I couldn't even eat it. Made myself have a couple of bites and the rest went in the bin.

    The world's worst fast food.

    Oh, I do adore a soft serve cone from Macca's though, or a sundae - yum, yum. At least they can't make ice cream taste like cardboard.

    America really is another country Kath.