May 28, 2007

Tin foil hat spritzer

Finally, reaching the shores down under, the latest technology to keep wrinkles at bay.

Following years of research, Clarins have released the equivalent of a tin foil hat in a handy purse-sized spray pack, so that you can carry it everywhere to spritz and zap, day and night, to keep your epidermis youthful and sprightly.

Expertise 3P anti-electro magnetic radiation mist (at $A59 for 100ml) puts a super-zapper barrier between you and flying electromagnetic waves and nefarious free radicals, which are aging you (and me) as I type and as you read.
But wait
, there’s more! Expertise 3P doesn’t just bounce electromagnetic waves before they reach your face, it actually protects you from all forms of indoor and outdoor pollution.

I know what you’re thinking: this must be one heavy duty scientifically and technologically advanced whiz-bang spay!

And you’d almost be exactly right.

The light as a feather water-like Expertise 3P super-spray is made from a stunning array of dirt common plants, and some weird cosmically challenged bacteria thingy.

When combined, the ingredients create an invisible “magnetic shield” to protect you from the damaging and aging effects of artificial electromagnetic waves and free radicals. (Personally, I think all radicals should be free, and if this spay will contribute to that end we should buy a bottle or two.)

The light spray contains plant extracts white tea and succory dock cress, which are the ingredients that reinforce the skin’s “resistance to the harmful effects of Artificial Electromagnetic Waves". (Which tends to suggest that our skin already “resists” these electromagnetic waves, all of its own accord?)

Like other teas, white tea come from the Camellia sinensis plant, but the leaves are picked and harvested before the leaves open fully, and when the buds are still covered by fine white hair.

Succory dock cress, also known as nipplewort, is a common garden weed.

The ingredients protecting your being from free radicals are rhodiola rosea and thermos thermophilus.

Rhodiola rosea is a plant that is believed to be effective for improving mood and alleviating depression, as well as aiding physical and mental performance. Along with repelling free radicals, when you use Expertise 3P, you can also expect to have chirpy skin that does well in exams.

Thermos thermophilus is a gram negative eubacterium, used in a range of biotechnological applications, including as a model organism for genetic manipulation and systems biology.

That’s an enlarged photograph of Thermus thermophillus, thermophilic bacteria, just above, and over to the right. You can read all about it here ...

But be careful with your Expertise 3P on hot days. The bacterium is extremely thermophilic, with an optimal growth temperature of about 85ÂșC.


  1. Thanks but I'd rather burn my hard-earned money 'cause at least that way, I'd have some light.

  2. Now you're being too clever by half Cubicle. Beautiful lateral thinking.

    Tee hee. :-D