January 28, 2007

Oh Flag It!

Exhibit A: White supremacist movement in still life.

Just when you think the stupid can’t get any stupider.

Journalist extraordinaire, Tracee Hutchinson, declares:

“Our flag has become a participant in something that could easily be mistaken for a white supremacist movement.”

Only for those who are gravely mistaken Tracee.

“Yet instead of addressing the root cause of increased cross-cultural tensions, politicians and commentators of all persuasions chose to beat up a couple of concert promoters who dared say out loud what is rumbling in the underbelly of Australia.

Concert promoters are globally esteemed for their political wisdom, astuteness and searing intellects.

“Granted, Sydney's Big Day Out passed without incident despite huge numbers of patrons defying the leave-the-flags-at-home urgings of organisers, but imagine the outcry had a bunch of flag-clad idiots done some real damage? Imagine if someone was badly injured in a flag-induced frenzy?

Imagine if you cross the road to go to work tomorrow Tracee, and you get hit by a car, doing you real damage? Imagine the outcry, that some car driving idiot was allowed out on the roads, in a car induced frenzy?

Yes, yes, let’s sit around imaging all the bad things that can happen in the world and PREVENT them, right now!

Let’s especially imagine a flag induced frenzy! Little Aussies all over the land, flags wrapped in frenzied sarong-style around their hips.

“This week's hysterical flag furore is just the latest in a series of distractions from the main game — that notion of an Australian identity that is inclusive not exclusive.”

Who exactly is hysterical then?

“Perhaps the time has finally arrived to come up with a flag that unites, not divides, us. To be reminded of a country that welcomes not rejects. A country that makes peace with its past and looks to its future with self-determined optimism and hope. A country we can all feel proud to be part of.”

Sure, let’s change the flag now, and then we can change it again when we become a republic. An excellent job creation scheme and boost to the economy.

Shall we have happy rainbow flag perhaps, with little yellow smiley faces? Over which flag induced frenzy will be forbidden?

Meanwhile in Canada, pig farmer and people killer extraordinaire, Robert William, was deeply offended during an 11 hour interrogation with Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers, declaring at one point that the police were "making me out to be more of a mass murderer than I am."


  1. Of course, the unifying and inclusive force of a rainbow flag with little yellow smiley faces would only work for people who like rainbows and little yellow smiley faces. For everyone else, we can safely predict flag-induced-frenzy.

  2. Anonymous12:31 PM

    Tracee is one of those professional pundits I rarely ever read. The precise at head of her articles is usually enough to settle the read/not-read decision. So your dedication in wading through this one will go towards your points in Heaven.

    As for Mr William, I reckon the jury might be swayed by a defense along the lines of: "Perspective please! I'm no Saddam Hussein."

  3. Tracee's right. Her and her kind need a country they can be proud of. Howabout we hack Christmas Island off our little collection of rocks and let Tracee and her ilk rule there to do their worst? They can make their own flag up and be as inclusive as they want.

  4. I can't wait for her advocacy of concert-promoter views on national water management Jacob, especially, 'cause, you know, their assumptions about the "under belly" of Australian society (their core customers) and how to manage it was so spot-on and worked out so well.

  5. I'm sure that concert-promoters will soon eclipse celebrity-activists in "speaking truth to power", Caz.

    I also didn't read Vampyra Deva's column this week, but I gathered from the precis that it was a panegyric on the virtues of youthful rebellion, with particular regard to the Big Day Out concert-goers' flouting the flag 'ban' directive.

    I see that the augmented police presence at the event also netted several dozen young folk who were 'rebelling' against narcotics laws.