December 11, 2006

Our favorite redheads

Contrary to the newspaper heading, the US has not banned Pauline Hanson (ah, poor New York, we send our sympathies, truly we do). She has to front up at the Sydney embassy with the paper work to prove that her jail conviction was quashed, then she'll get her visa.

(There must be all manner of social interfaces during which we could utilize the word “quashed”, with a certain zesty delight, yet we fail to avail ourselves of such.)

In case anyone was wondering why Hanson is so desperate about reaching the Big Apple for the holiday season, instead of staying in her beloved homeland – that same frothing homeland of which she is determined to save from Asians, Muslims and disease riddled Africans – this is why:

"I want to enjoy that real Christmas feeling. You don't really get it in Australia.”

Onya Pauline, that’ll fetch a lot of votes if you run in the next election.

On the other hand, Hanson has said she might not make a comeback if “a wonderful man could come and take me away from all this."

Please, someone find her a man – now!

Can't fault her solid logic though: err, what will I do today (a) find a boyfriend; or (b) run for parliament. See, these are the types of challenging decisions modern women have to make every morning.

Meanwhile, our other favorite redhead is suddenly being photographed with her boyfriend everywhere she goes, which is very peculiar, as I don’t ever recall seeing a photo of Gillard with any of her personal male escorts before. Is this an all too obvious PR exercise to convince the electorate that Gillard is not some raving-feminist-lesbian, despite being the owner of an unused uterous? Future boyfriends beware: you will be expected to become camera candy.

Regardless of the joyous pictures of Gillard and her hairdresser boyfriend, she insist that she will resist social pressures to make an honest man of him, even if she becomes deputy prime minister next year. I’m still scratching my well-groomed head over that one. Since when did any of us have expectations of our pollies and leaders celebrating electoral victory by getting married? It's generally prostate wrenching enough that they insist on dancing like giddy teenagers on election nights - that sight alone sends most of us into therapy until the next election.

Far more alarming, at least momentarily, was Gillard’s revelation that she had no plans to have children – already being well settled and comfy in her personal life and all.

Alarming? Yes, indeed.

I find it alarming that a 45 year old woman makes passing comments about not having plans to give birth any time soon, as if, on this planet, and in this galaxy, that possibility is both plausible and probable.

Hell, the woman is right around my age, and I’ve been a happy little grandmother to The Golden Child for nigh on 23 months now.

So, to journo’s across the country: if you must go the usual boring and demeaning path of personal questioning with Gillard, for gawd’s sake, at least be sensible and ask her what plans she has for menopause, or whether, in the light of public opinion, she’s going to change hairdressers. Please, please don’t keep carrying on like a bunch of drongos, as if a woman her age still has a whole bunch of happy healthy and willing eggs in her basket. It’s dumb, really it is.

(Now, should I start taking bets on when the first journo will ask Gillard about the possibility of an overseas adoption?)


  1. Anonymous1:48 AM

    Awww Caz I was havin' such a lovely night , and ya had to go and ruin it didn't ya. Now I'll be having nightmares about those two stoopid red headed bitches!!

    You are though, as perceptive as ever!!

    And you'd think Pauline would have developed a little more sense over the years wouldn't you eh?

    " I want to enjoy that real Christmas feeling. You don't really get it in Australia."


  2. You caught me on the hop Kath!

    I was just doing some fine tuning when you commented, so now you'll have to read it again. Tee, hee. Just a spit and polish, as you do, nothing major. (You'll have to do a "refresh" of the page.)

    And it's way past my bed time; perhaps if I hit myself on the head, or take my stupid pills, I won't have any nightmares about redheads.

  3. Anonymous2:01 AM

    Sweet dreams Caz. I know things are not easy for you at the moment.. And Monday will be be very hard for you and your mum.
    My thoughts are with you guys..

  4. Ah Kath - you know, I couldn't help thinking today "he's still good, he's still good", but of course he isn't, poor little fella.

    You would have loved it: Mum had hung up balloons, there was doggy-picture wrapping paper spread out on the table like an extra table cloth, a beautiful bunch of roses; we had sandwiches and black forest cake; we took lots of photo's.

    I gave Mum a stuffed dog, with long cute floppy ears - he's cuddly and low maintenance.

  5. I got a laugh out of this interview with Gillard, who has some pretty good answers for some of the interviewers questions. She has a sense of humour at least.

  6. Anonymous7:54 PM

    There was an article in the SMH - by Adele Horin? can't remember - that picked apart this puerile penchant for marriage, children and other such rot that should define women in public life.

    Been said many times before, but, what has it got to do with anything and why not ask our Defense minister about his home life now - affairs and all.

    Imagine Laurie the Hutt asking all the pertinent questions: does she cook; does her kitchen have a granite benchtop; what are you cooking tonight....

    The answer to the last would be redundant: looking at the Bulletins in house Hutt these days, it wouldn't matter.

    Methinks the prattle parlayed to the press by Gillard - at the urging of an advisory flack no doubt - reveals more about the hang ups of the overweight, male menopaused press gallery than it does Gillard.

  7. I can’t help but think that Oz is still a bit of a backwater in gender matters Michael; in fact I’m quite sure we are, as much as millions here may try to howl me down.

    Yes, Hilary Clinton may be criticized for her hair-do’s, and her pant suits, but such attacks on powerful women in America tend to be confined to only a few – almost like a small annoying scab that they can’t bring themselves to stop picking.

    Compare, for example, Condi Rice: has anyone, would anyone, dare mention her unused uterus, or question her status as an unmarried woman out and about in the big wide world? Not on your life. Regardless of political views, she’s one hell of a smart, determined, successful and powerful woman. No one in their right mind would dare have the impertinence to question her value as a person or a woman.

    We’re different in Oz - notwithstanding that the likes of Cheryl Kernot (“hell, of course I would still have defected to the ALP if I hadn’t been screwing Gareth Evans!”) set women back a couple of decades – every women who has ever been ‘anointed’ as a possible serious contender for the top political job has thenceforth been slowly broiled and ripped to within an millimeter of what is left of her dignity and reputation. Okay, slight exaggeration, but close. The business world is no better than the political sphere in that regard.

    Yes, Gillard is playing the game by being “open”, rather than risking the even more damning accusation of being defensive or uptight about her single and childless status.

    I thought The Age was onto a good gender-neutral wicket the other day, when they commenced an article about Kevin Rudd, not by noting his attire or hairstyle, but by telling us his star sign.

    See, a myriad of unexplored means by which journalists can belittle people with power, wealth, good looks, talent, etc, regardless of gender. I look forward to seeing much more it: “John Smith, crime writer, Leo, with moon in Virgo, had a grey aura when we discussed his new book. A quick palm reading established that he can afford to be much more relaxed, as, according to his lifeline he’ll live to be 110 yrs and 7 mths.” See, gender neutral!

  8. Mind you, I'm deeply superficial and trite, especially when tired and emotional, so I will never fail to wonder why Gillard can't find a decent hair cut and colour (doesn't the ENTIRE WORLD wonder the same thing about Donald Trump?), and I will never warm to her nasal twang and flat to the ground vowels. I don't like John Howard's drone like voice either, but it's less fingernail stratching chalk board annoying than Gillard's voice.

  9. The kitchen brouhaha was the biggest journalistic nonsense Tim. Who wouldn’t do a big clean up before having a journalist arrive at their home? What a crock of nonsense, and they still drag it out.

    Cartoons of Gillard are intriguing, with the mega long nose. Her nose is pretty ordinary in the scheme of things. Would have thought cartoonists would use her hair as a distinctive feature. The nose has got me beat.

  10. Anonymous11:34 PM

    Imagine anyone asking Thatcher to explain the clean up of her kitchen?

    Yes, utter bullshit.

    I agree, the voice is a bit much - not quite as bad as the serial independent with the same colour har. You know, at a $1.95 per vote (I think over 4%), she might be on to something. Maybe I should run? Could pay for the trip!

    I too severely dislike Howard's voice. Especially when he's in "mmm, mmm" mode with that "oh how little you really know" patronising tone.

    At least Hawke got the shits (pretend or otherwise) and Keating told you to get stuffed in words reportable on Howard's, err sorry, our ABC.

    The current crop are like listening to aircraft engines droning, ad infinitum, in the distance. Sooo uninteresting.

  11. Cazzy - I always envisaged you as being in your mid-thirties as opposed to mid-forties. You write young! :D

  12. There's an awful lot of us old folk with blogs Jimmy me lad. Which is entirely contrary to the image of bloggers mostly being pimply, angst ridden, punctuation deprived, teenagers – or single women with cats. I always snirtle at least a dozen times when I see MSM or blog pieces that attempt to typify or satirize the blogosphere in such a manner, and gosh, don't they all.

    Yes Jimmy, there are armies of us out here, botoxed, dyed, tattooed, pissed off, pedantically grammatical, and we like dogs, yes we do, and by golly gosh, we oldies know how to use a computer!

    But damned if I can figure out how the rest of you can see my computer, and how you keep sneaking in when I’m not looking. It’s clever, I’ll give you that, but very disturbing.

    P.S - My daughter, The Princess, probably hopes I grow up before her son does - or maybe not. :-D

  13. Anonymous3:23 PM

    Indeed caz, indeed. As well there are "old folk" who actually enjoy posting on these blog-thingys.

    Pedantically grammatical (he, he) and pissed if not always pissed off.

    How is it that each time I type on my 'puter, it appears on one of these thing-a-me-bobs?

    What they can't do these days...

  14. Anonymous11:25 PM

    Hey Caz !! Bite your tongue now. We ain't old mate!

  15. Michael - yes, pissed was really what I was aiming for, a more accurate sentiment, and certainly more merry, as Kath will testify.

    Funny thing isn't it Kath, as much as "ageism" is getting a whacko burl at present, along with impertinent, ill informed, and poorly written books by gens X, Y, Z and alpha, the whole thing seems more of a beat up by a newly created industry that now has a vested interest in perpetuating the whole thing.

    Fact is, the generation gap/s of eras gone by barely exist anymore. Parents mostly talk the same language as their children - as James' comment tends to confirm - even if we don't necessarily listen to the same music. (Hey, James still has fantasies about Tori Amos for gawd's sake, and she must be old enough to be his mother!)

    Yep, we've got a way to go before we're officially old Kath, and I expect we'll be even more charming, delightful, insightful and witty by then - I'm sure of it!

  16. Tori's special.

    Look, I'm 26. When I was 15 she was in her prime, and I was going through my introverted, 'no one could possibly understand me' phase (which ran concurrently with my 'mouthy little know-all bastard' phase). Consequently, Tori's opaque lyrics appealed immensely. Tori and I have a lot of history :P

  17. Hey, check the post topic! Tori *is* one of our favourite redheads!! Neat segue.

  18. Anonymous12:06 AM

    Yeahh . I'll drink to that Caz!
    In fact I have already drunk.. If you get my drift....( I know it's only Thursday, but hey, We are all entitled to an aberration every so often eh Caz?

    Besides, Michael Park is a bigger piss tank than me!!

  19. Yes, yes, James, Tori is "special", especially in her white petticoat.

    I figured you were around 26, but that might only be because you've mentioned it on your blog; not sure, either that, or just clever deduction on my part.

    Phew, see, you're NOT old enough to be my son! The Princess is only 24. :-D

  20. Perfectly understandable Kath.

    I very nearly posted a duck before bed LAST night. That was a close call, I can tell you. There we all would have been, with a "Duck Thursday", which would have made no bloody sense at all.

    See, I subliminally paid homage to your Tori James. I still can't get that meaningless chorus line out of my head either. I may never forgive you.

  21. Anonymous10:37 AM

    "Piss tank"??!! Me, a BIGGER piss tank??!!

    Why, I'll have you know that I have not yet begun to get tanked.


  22. You want to be careful with those ducks. We wouldn't want to end up with a Duck Thursday AND Duck Friday. That would be a surfeit of ducks. I don't think the duck market would be able to cope with such an oversupply of ducks, to be frank (and I will be frank if you be ernestine). It would be taking things a duck too far, going absolutely over the duck, and going to quackstremes.

  23. Anonymous11:51 AM

    Frankly my dear Tim, I don't give a quack!!