From the New York Times (Do my Knees Look Fat to You? 15 June 2006) comes the startling news that a youngish woman (34 yrs) has undergone $10,000 worth of liposuction.
As anyone with a passing familiarity with cosmetic surgery will know, $10 K doesn’t buy very much in the way of fat suckage.
But our youngish woman (Ms Conte) had two frightening problems: yes, she had a little roll of fat hanging over the back of her jeans (which her mother unkindly reminded her about by continually coming up from behind and pulling her shirt over it). Worse still Ms Conte suffered from “bra fat”, those scary bulges “that can occur when your bra pushes lumps of fat down your back and up over the bra fastening and to the sides right near your arms".
Ms Conte applied a great deal of effort to address her back fat and bra fat problems, including “lunatic” workouts at the gym and Weight Watchers. Neither of these mundane approaches delivered results.
As a last resort, fat suckage and $10 K saved the day with Ms Conte declaring “it was well worth it”.
Anyone else might have purchased a longer shirt.
Anyone else might have purchased a correctly fitted bra.
[Educational note: it is well know that 168% of all women, around the world, at any point in time, are wearing the wrong size bra, and thus have bumps and bulges where none should be, or would be, if only they had procured a bra in the correct size. The same is true of shirts, t-shirts, jeans, trouser, skirts, bikinis, shoes, and so forth.]
Another patient, standing at 5-foot-10 and weighing 126 pounds, concedes that she is relatively skinny, "But my arms were getting a little flappy. I could feel it wiggle every time I shook hands." Emergency fat suckage to the upper arms was performed.
Anyone else might have lifted the occasional dumb bell, or simply gone for the air kiss, in lieu of the handshake, so as to avoid that flappy feeling.
Another surgeon had a request from a patient to have liposuction of her pubic area.
Anyone else might have considered investing in a bikini with an extra two millimeters of fabric, before seriously considering surgery.
Imagine how much surgery could be avoided if only women wore correctly fitted clothing.