November 29, 2005

Nothing to see here

It would seem that Debbie Rowe, she of the short-term-for-breeding-purposes-only wife of Michael Jackson fame, has revealed to Irish newspaper Sunday World the startling news that her children with Michael Jackson were the result of *gasp* *shock* sperm donor assistance – they are not Jackson’s biological children.

Yeah, der, honey.

Has there ever been anyone in the universe who actually believed, at any time, that the children were biologically related to Jackson?

From the teeny glimpses that we have almost had of the children in question, they bare no resemblance to Jackson, and are just about as pale as a ‘white’ person could be. Although an expert geneticist would no doubt be able to explain the statistical probability of this outcome having occurred with someone of Jackson’s natural darker hues as the biological father, the greater probability would have been on the side of any off-spring of his loins being a gorgeous mocha color.

Debbie, rather hilariously, feels the need to point out that: Michael knows the truth – that he is not the natural father…”

Thanks for the news flash Deb, but we already knew too.


  1. Yeah, the teeny glimpses we got when their veils are moved slightly during an inopportune updraft of wind (Jackson can't control the wind like he controls everything else).