January 7, 2014

Bit of a polar vortex - hundreds of snide people injured

 
Britain, Porthcawl harbour. - January 2014

 Polar Vortex Causes Hundreds of Injuries as People Making Snide Remarks About Climate Change Are Punched in Face

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—The so-called polar vortex caused hundreds of injuries across the Midwest today, as people who said “so much for global warming” and similar comments were punched in the face.

Authorities in several states said that residents who had made ignorant comments erroneously citing the brutally cold temperatures as proof that climate change did not exist were reporting a sharp increase in injuries to the face and head regions.

In an emergency room in St. Paul, Harland Dorrinson, forty-one, was waiting to be treated for bruising to the facial area after he made a crack about how the below-freezing temperatures meant that climate-change activists were full of shit.

“I’d just finished saying it and boom, out of nowhere someone punched me in the face,” he said. “This polar vortex is really dangerous.”

The meteorology professor Davis Logsdon, of the University of Minnesota, issued a safety warning to residents of the states hammered by the historic low temperatures: “If you are living within the range of the polar vortex and you have something idiotic to say about climate change, do not leave your house.” 
 Photo's - wild weather from US to Europe

US braces for record deep freeze as polar vortex pushes temperatures down to -50C

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:09 PM

    Lucky it's not a bi-polar vortex, wise Mr Dorrinson may have copped it twice, from a cheerful bear, or something.

    But it must be a really big storm cause it's unusually cold down here for this time of year.

    j

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  2. Has been unusually cold all summer, in Melbourne. Must be even worse down your way.

    Mind you, NSW and Queensland have been unseemly in hotness.

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  3. And England in unseemly "warm" wetness.

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  4. LOL! We have had a rather mild Summer so far.. Had unexpected consistent rain in Spring, that produced bumper crops for farmers.
    "WITH just under a month to go before the WA harvest wraps up for another season, tonnages have not only smashed the record 15.06 million tonne mark, they're edging towards 16mt".

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  5. Well that seals it then, Kath - clearly NSW and Queensland have stolen the global warming.

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