November 29, 2013

Duck Friday


  1. Nyaaa.. What's up duck? :D

  2. Anonymous7:59 PM

    Well I'll tell what's up, this wittle duckie blew a quarter of a mill this week, a somewhat unfortunate miscalculation, I've promised myself I'll never to do it again - never ever - just like John W Howard.

    So what does a real man duckie do when confronted with such an opportunity? What else, attack a bottle of Dewar's, in companionship with that glorious toast: "FUCK IT, tomorrows another day".

    Of course when I told Pumpkin, the gorgeous bitch burst out laughing, and gently suggested that I never do it again wise I might end up blind.

    "No way" yours truly replied, this is Dewar's, not bloody Russian rocket fuel.

    If only I was cute chick, I could have it all for just 45 cents (Geoff will love this one):

    A Jewish daughter says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Nathan."

    All he wants is sex, sex and more sex.
    My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece
    When it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece."

    Her mother says,

    "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman,
    You live in an 8 bedroom mansion
    You drive a $250,000 Ferrari,
    You get $2,000 a week allowance,
    You take 6 vacations a year and
    You want to throw all that away...

    Over 45 cents?"


    1. A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant
      when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
      The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

      "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

      "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife.

      "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

      "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a
      divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in
      Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no
      more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

      Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on
      his arm. "Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband.

      "Ours is prettier," she replies.

    2. That was a good one, Geoffff.

  3. Aha ha ha ha ha ha!

    You always make me smile Justin..

    Pumpkin is a very lucky woman. ;)

  4. Anonymous10:22 AM

    On the contrary dear Kath, iJustin is the luckiest silly bastard in the universe.

    And tomorrow being today now means lunch, a nice long lunch, with lots of liquidity.