October 1, 2010

Go Collingwood!

A family of Collingwood supporters heads out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. 

While in Rebel Sports the son picks up a Geelong footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "Hey, Pox Face, I've decided to become a Geelong supporter and I want this for Christmas."

His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield's and says, "Dickhead, go talk to mum

Off goes the little lad with the Geelong jumper stuffed up his T-shirt and finds his mum.


"Yeah, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Geelong supporter and I want this jumper for Christmas".

His mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full stubbie of VB at him, smacks him in the gob and says, "We’ll see about that, you little creep, we’ll go ‘n talk to your father!"

Off they go to the local prison during visiting hours, with footy jumper in hand, to find Moose, his toothless and heavily tattooed father.


"Yeah, Knackers?"

"Dad, I've decided I'm going to be a Geelong supporter and I want this jumper for Christmas".

Moose goes berserk and gives his son an almighty backhander and snarls,

"No bastard of mine is ever going to be seen wearing that shit!" and then kicks the young lad’s arse from one end of the rec-room to the other, just for good measure.

About half an hour later, mum, daughter and battered son are all back in the rusty old Falcon, heading towards home. Mum turns to her son and says, "Knackers, have you learned something today?"

The son responds: "Bloody oath I have!"

"Good, Knackers, what is it?" 

The son replies,"I've only been a Geelong supporter for a day and already I hate you
Collingwood pricks!”

(Via our ever alert WA reporter:  Kathy)


  1. geoff3:36 PM

    It's as simple as ABC. We are all cats today.

  2. geoff3:37 PM

    Maybe skinned cats -- going on the half time score.

  3. I've been checking play on and off Geoff, and it's looking suspiciously like worst case scenario.

    Hate the Saints too, but jeez, couldn't they try a little harder, just this once?! For everyone's sake?

  4. Solomon5:12 PM

    Football come first in the gay olympics.

  5. Bugger it.

    A low point in AFL history.

    Sucks and blows.

  6. Collingwood is the team you love to hate. Carn the BOMBERS next year with James Hird at the helm.

  7. geoff1:24 PM

    My ancestral tribal loyalty is Carlton. It's been said that my old dad was born within a crowd roar of Princes Park on a Saturday afternoon early in the season and I have no doubt it's true. His dad and granddad were also Carlton supporters. Of course. For many years they had a business in McPherson St and lived not far away. It was compulsory. It came with candles on Friday night. Now he has great grandkids being brought up as Carlton supporters.

    Next season, amazingly, the Gold Coast has its own AFL franchise kicking off. Although the old man has lived and had businesses in the place and environs since 1955 I won't bother to ask whether that will have the slightest impact on the old faith. The question would be dismissed with studied and quiet contempt. I know the look.

    A curious thing is that a few years ago a cousin with the same surname made a public spectacle of himself trying to bring down the Richmond Football Club or something. I think it was Richmond. Anyway it wasn't Carlton so we didn't pay much attention. I met that guy once or twice as a kid. They were the rich kids from Toorak. Hence the Tigers I guess. No wonder my family had almost nothing to do with them.

    shit that turnd a lot longer than I started with

  8. Not sure they've made the right call with Hirdie, Windsmoke. The no experience coach? Ka-rist! Gambling with a favored son might end in tears.

  9. shit that turned a lot longer than I started with

    Well, the AFL is like that Geoff, the religious conflict that goes on and on and on and on and on and on, much like the Middle East. We can feign indifference, but then some boof-head gets a groin injury or gets a bad umpiring call and we're suckered in, like a bunch of masochists.

    I suppose the new Gold Coast and Sydney teams will have to try to pick up fresh blood Geoff, don't know who would turn for them - no Melbourne ties, not like when Melbourne teams were transplanted and took along some semblance of a loyal following.

    Eighteen teams? Humph! How the hell am I supposed to remember them all?

  10. Anonymous3:55 PM

    What's Collingwood?


  11. That's the question every serious person must ponder Justin.

    Did you see the photo's of Eddie in all the papers today?

    That is what happens when a man ponders and comes out on the tawdry side of the question: a red-faced, teary, broken, ashamed man.

    Yes, even Eddie knows that he got the answer wrong, and he is mortified, broken and - did I mention red-faced?

  12. Anonymous9:44 PM

    What's Eddie?


  13. Justin - he - or rather it - is a smile in search of a personality.

  14. Happy for the Pies: my ex-flatmate is a Collingwood supporter and was muttering darkly on Friday last week about maybe things not going so well. He got his somewhat-delayed premiership Saturday.

    Everyone's been full of prognostications and interpretations and strategic explanations and tactical deliberations about the whys and wherefores of the sport. Happily I am not sporty and don't understand any of that, though the difference between this week's score and last week's score makes me think it's all a bit up to chance, really.

    I got swooped by a magpie on Saturday morning last week - first time in a few years. That was just about as convincing as any other argument I'd heard before or since.

  15. Justin - an eddy (noun, singular) (plural: eddies) is a current at variance with the main current in a stream of liquid or gas, especially one having a rotary or whirling motion; and any similar current, as of air, dust, fog, etc.

  16. Tim - the fact remains: neither team was good enough to win the bloody game!

    As it is in federal politics, so too in the AFL.

    And yes, little Bieber is uni-dimensional, and even so, most of that dimension is in the hair.

    (Sorry, the hair is so stupid I just can't let it go.)