June 14, 2010

Because the lesbians said so

Right about now, you're probably wishing you'd been raised by a lesbian couple. You would have been spectacularly more successful in life, not to mention smarter, prettier/more handsome, irresistible and enviably rich. You probably would have had silky shiny hair and really, really good teeth too.

The latest hetero-phobic longitudinal study, with a sample size of 154 pregnant lesbians (pregnant 17 years ago), has found, via self-reporting by the mums, that lesbian parents produce better children than anyone else on the planet.

"According to their mothers' reports, the 17-year-old daughters and sons of lesbian mothers were rated significantly higher in social, school/academic, and total competence and significantly lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggressive, and externalising problem behavior than their age-matched counterparts in Achenbach's normative sample of American youth."

The study must be true, because mothers never make shit up.

Two mums better than dad


  1. Solomon8:25 PM

    I wish I had two mums. Then you could fuck one of them.

  2. While one is inclined to think that you're one very sick puppy Sol, one also has to admire your extreme pragmatism. :-D

  3. Solomon3:12 PM

    I suppose the fact that they would both be lesbians might put a damper on things.

  4. A smallish hurdle, yes.

    That, and the incestuous overtones.

  5. Solomon7:38 PM

    Well that too. She'd be going Woody Allen on my ass!