June 14, 2010

Because the lesbians said so

Right about now, you're probably wishing you'd been raised by a lesbian couple. You would have been spectacularly more successful in life, not to mention smarter, prettier/more handsome, irresistible and enviably rich. You probably would have had silky shiny hair and really, really good teeth too.

The latest hetero-phobic longitudinal study, with a sample size of 154 pregnant lesbians (pregnant 17 years ago), has found, via self-reporting by the mums, that lesbian parents produce better children than anyone else on the planet.

"According to their mothers' reports, the 17-year-old daughters and sons of lesbian mothers were rated significantly higher in social, school/academic, and total competence and significantly lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggressive, and externalising problem behavior than their age-matched counterparts in Achenbach's normative sample of American youth."

The study must be true, because mothers never make shit up.

Two mums better than dad


5 comments:

  1. Solomon8:25 PM

    I wish I had two mums. Then you could fuck one of them.

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  2. While one is inclined to think that you're one very sick puppy Sol, one also has to admire your extreme pragmatism. :-D

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  3. Solomon3:12 PM

    I suppose the fact that they would both be lesbians might put a damper on things.

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  4. A smallish hurdle, yes.

    That, and the incestuous overtones.

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  5. Solomon7:38 PM

    Well that too. She'd be going Woody Allen on my ass!

    ReplyDelete