March 28, 2010

Well that's embarrassing

Uma Thurman's latest film, Motherhood, attracted a total of 11 audience members for the whole of its opening weekend in Britain.

Of course, that doesn't mean it's a bad film, particularly when we consider the quantity of highly profitable excrement out there in film-land (hello James Cameron!).

Still, taking $150 for an opening weekend, even given that the film only opened at one cinema, has gotta hurt.

Here ...


  1. The sad thing is that this really shows the value of promotion, advertising, and public relations. I used to think people were smart enough to make their own decisions, but clearly unless we are held by the hand via a slick marketing campaign, we have no idea what we want.

  2. I thought it was kinda cute that they were banking on a word-of-mouth vibe to bring in the crowds Dan.

    Yeah, coz that so works.

    Of course, you're right. The mass of humans, being rather average, require a great deal of guidance in everyday life. They no longer turn to the bible or community, so advertising and PR fills the void.

    "I feel like chicken tonight" ... running in the background on the telly.

    See, if I was inclined to eating chook, my dinner choice would have just been taken care of. :-D

  3. Hmmm. Let's see now. One person paid to see it on day 1 for 9 pounds. That means 8.78 people saw it on day 2 which is a 878% increase in just 24 hours. That means they can expect 676.8 people tomorrow and 2,722,357,518.14 on Saturday. The entire population of the world will have seen this movie 47 times by the end of easter. Approximately. Not counting me. I wouldn't pay to see it if I was in an iron lung.

    Move over Avatar! This is the mother of all slow burning blockbusters.

    BTW I reckon you're only so pissed off with Cameron because he pinched your blog name.

  4. Solomon8:33 PM

    In France they are pushing so hard for the film "Tout Ce Qui Brille" it feels like a Presidential election. It's maddening. I must admit my sales ressistance to films is quite low, but I can't justify seeing this obviously mediocre french-language film, despite my powerful urge to submit.

  5. Anonymous9:22 PM

    Couldn't give a rats. Last time I went to the flicks the sound was too loud, and then too soft. I kept on missing key dialogue in relation to the plot. Some kid in the seat behind me had restless feet syndrome while his girlfriend made slurping noises with her straw (or his, I'm not quite sure). It was bloody too warm and I felt like a smoke. And that was just during the previews.

    Think cranky old man!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So what does one do - wait till the flick comes out on DVD. And by that time I have forgotten about the movie anyway. From what I can make out I don't miss much.

    Cranky old j

  6. Geoff - wow. You're right. This is going to be the biggest grossing film of ALL TIME!

    Yes, it does piss me off that Cameron couldn't come up with an original name for his film. All those years ago, Avatar was pretty obvious to me, so Cameron isn't what you'd call cutting edge. And YES, the asshole nicked my name! What do I get for it? Nothing!

    Justin - they're not even planning on releasing the film here, maybe they won't bother with the DVD. We may never get to waste two hours of our lives feeling sorry for the lovely Uma Thurman. Have to agree with you about sound quality of films. Are they morons? What's the point of 'clever' dialogue if it's muted and mumbled (so you have to Google the script later), or plot twists that everyone misses because they're straining to figure out what the hell was said, and for the remainder of the film no one has a clue.

    Sol - oh, go on, go on, you HAVE to see it! Even bad French films are good compared to English speaking films. Although the title isn't what you'd call promising.

  7. Solomon2:17 AM

    All that glitters..

    I think you're mistaken about French films, judging by the shorts I've seen. Exhibit A is "Camping 2", which I need to see about as much as I do "The bounty hunter", which is not at all.

  8. Yeah, well, I did say that the title didn't sound promising.

    Hints of Showgirls or Glitter ... but, Camping 2 ... sure, I believe you!

    I have a biased sample with French films Sol, as I only see a few a year, therefore, my exposure is to the better. English speaking films, on the other hand, are random and deliberate viewing of any old crap, with rare flashes of interest, ever fewer as the years go by, alas. Where did 'great' film making go? All vapidity now. And vampires.

  9. Solomon10:12 PM

    Yes the ones we get in Australia are usually worthwhile, though I'm not sure about "Betty Blue" or "Irreversible".

    Yes, too many vampires! Even the bookstores are littered with them. I thought "Shutter Island" was good, though the ending is like Kaiser Sose syndrome on acid.

  10. Have you seen True Blood Sol, the television series? It's the adult version of Twilight, if you like, which doesn't sound like much of a recommendation, but it really is good. It's on cable in the US, don't think it has even been shown here. I was given the first series on DVD for Xmas. Excellent entertainment!

  11. Solomon10:06 PM

    No, never heard of it. In fact I've never seen Twilight either, though I am always impressed by the swanky covers of the books. I liked "Interview with a vampire", but that was an age ago. Oh, and Buffy.

  12. Yes, Interview with a Vampire was probably the last vampire flick that I thought was OK - the book was better, of course, but the adaptation wasn't too bad.

    Anna Paquin, the little girl from The Piano is the growed-up star of True Blood. High production values, rollicking escapism, and definitely not for the kiddies. If you ever get the chance, you'll enjoy it Sol. I'm looking forward to getting the second and third seasons sometime.