December 29, 2009

And so the year comes to an end ...

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.


On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.


The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .

'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?

'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said...

'A pumpkin? Shit .... is it midnight already?'

This was in the Washington Post...the title of the article was 'Best Come Back Line Ever.'

4 comments:

  1. Happy Halloween... oops, sorry.

    I meant Happy New Year, Caz. Hope you maintain the rage in 2010.

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  2. I'm glad for his sake no one asked him to try on the glass slipper.

    Happy new year Caz and all.

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  3. Anonymous6:20 PM

    I wonder what the pumpkin had to say about all that?

    Anyway tomorrow is the last day of the year - and we also get a blue moon.

    "Blue Moons occur once every 2.7 years.

    7 times every 19 years.

    Once every 33 months.

    37 times every century.

    Once every 33 full moons."

    j

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  4. Thanks for the stats Justin. May we all see many more blue moons. Happy new year my dear.

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