July 26, 2009

Where do they find 'em?

Journalists might fail us on countless important occasions, but never let it be said that they provide suboptimal performance when it comes to finding, amongst 22 million little Aussies, the most useless dregs who can guarantee holier than thou salivating from the rest of us.

"Why bother doing a job you hate? Why does anyone bother doing anything they don't want to do?'' she said.

"I used to do that, but I thought: `What the hell am I doing conforming to a job when I hate it?'''

So says 25 year old Simone Francis of Marrickville, who has had - we can't say "held" - 70 jobs in her short life, some of which she persisted with for, oooh, entire weeks. Mostly it sounds as if she has an attention span and get-out-of-bed phobia that runs on a three to five day cycle, making it tough to hold down a job.

Still, Ms Francis has sufficient synapses firing to understand that the problem is with her, not the jobs she attempts to undertake, however fleetingly:

"I realised there was something wrong with me after I was getting paid to be in the sun, spending most of the day looking at fish and turtles (as a snorkel guide on Hamilton Island) and I still didn't like it."

It took an entire week of snorkel guiding on Hamilton Island before Ms Francis declared herself bored.

But all is not lost, Ms Francis does have one interest: she is"addicted to travelling'', including jaunts overseas.

At least she excels at fiduciary management if she can stretch her $240 a week unemployment payment to paying for her travel addiction.

Why conform with the ninnies when you can stand in the other line with all of the other sheep, 'ey? Someone wake me up with all the non-conformers come up with an original thought, 'kay.

She's had 70 jobs and didn't like any of them


  1. Golly, I'm surprised that they got away with this, after ACA's "vilification" of the Paxtons some years ago.
    This young lady hasn't a clue about working for a goal, even if that goal is a better job. Typical of some, hmm, I'll call them youngsters, is the belief that they should fall into the perfect job, whether it's just something they love or whether it's CEO of some huge consortium earning a pile of money.
    I just don't understand where they get this idea from, is it that these days no kid is allowed to fail? Can't bugger up their self-esteem by having them fail... everyone gets a prize.

    It's just wrong.

  2. She did put her hand up for the gig Kae. At least, I'm betting they didn't have to twist her arm.

    I imagine she thought the public would swoon in admiration of her individuality ... or something?

  3. A few years ago I saw a short doco about executives in their 50's who had suddenly found themselves retrenched. The focus was on the difficulty they were having finding work. Fair enough, I thought, right up until each of them started bleating about how they USED to earn $100k+/year. It was quite amazing how often they mentioned it, kind of like they were confused as to why such renumerations were not being offered to them automatically now they were in the job market.

    If you think Gen Y is the only lazy, stupid, fussy, selfish and greedy demographic out there, take a good look at some of the others. They have their share of such people too.

  4. A lot of those guys, if they've been in the job long enough, end up with a 52 week kiss-off Dan, which is a nice little buffer while they look for their next gravy train. They never have the humiliation of having to fill out forms at a Centrelink office, in other words, nor of filling in their little book of 10 jobs applied for each and every fortnight - gawd, that in itself would do them in, they'd never pass the dole test!

    Of course, at that level, it takes much longer to find the next job, which would suck. From my own observations (entirely unscientific), executives take between 6 to 12 months to find a job, by which time most of them have well and truly chewed through their redundancy package, if not the credit cards. (Mind you, many of them, these days, also have a wife who is earning - if not big money, then at least enough money to get by for a while.)

    The surprise for these folk is just how long it takes. They start out pretty cocksure, call up their "networks", figure they'll have a new job and won't have to touch the payout (initially viewed as a nice little nest each, money for jam). Then clunk. The weeks turn into months, they have to start the demeaning process of applying for jobs and no one even bothers to call them, suddenly their egos are taking an almighty battering.

    Funnily enough, none of their form work associates give them a second thought, let alone create a job for them now that they're outside the business world. They just weren't as popular or admired-by-all as they thought.

    Doesn't take much for bitterness to set in.

    In other words, just like the rest of us, without a job they have no cash flow, no status, and no one gives a shit about them. That's an almighty come down for guys who are so used to calling the shots, so used to being "someone", including the "someone" who daily gets to piss on the little people.

    They don't much like the view from the other side of the fence Dan, that's for sure.

    Now, a not at all obvious segue: have you found yourself a wife yet? Much harder than finding a job, for sure! ;-)

  5. The job market can be a tough place for sure. It's where you find out just how much of a "commodity" you really are.

    No wife yet. I blame it on being a Gen X'er. But then when I dropped my vegemite toast onto the floor this morning vegemite side down I blamed it on the bakery slicing the bread too thin. When it comes to dodging responsibility, Gen Y are amateurs!

  6. She's certainly good at getting jobs anyway. I guess her resume would be more notable for its exclusions than its inclusions. (Not a good look to have 70-once-were jobs on the resume, no matter how much 'experience' she got from them!)

    If employers print that article out, though, she might find it a bit more difficult getting work in the future!

    I find that 'why bother' attitude puzzling. News flash, Simone: we all make sacrifices. Hardly anyone has a 'perfect' job, but it's generally a better thing to keep at a dull-but-doable job if it lets you earn a bit of money to be spent as you see fit.

  7. Dan - sounds as though you should not seek assistance from the local bakery in finding a wife.

    Tim - yes, there is that ... she must be mighty good at spruiking herself, and also highly motivated (in the past, she has apparently stopped) when it comes to applying for and accepting jobs. It's just the "doing" of them that causes her pain.

    With such staggering sales skills, I would suggest she goes into PR or marketing or sales, but being good at selling herself doesn't appear to be a skill that she transfers to anything worth paying for.