November 19, 2008

Balls!!!

To "testify" was based on men going before the Roman court guaranteeing a statement by swearing on their testicles.

13 comments:

  1. What if you were a girl?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Justin's mind: sharp as a tack.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Speaking of such things, a mate sent this to me this morning with the question, "Is this what normal Aussies do for fun?"

    Man caught with penis in pasta jar

    Even better: the incident took place at Nobby's Creek. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. "A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier."

    Re the latter, er, item... well, let's just not go there.

    Meanwhile, the police will have to testify at the inevitable hearing, and friends of the accused (if he has any, after this) will offer testimonials as to his character.

    Perhaps it really is ALL about sex...?

    ReplyDelete
  5. This practice was also the origin of another phrase. When men had finished making a statement before the Roman court and went home for the night, more often than not, they'd let out a huge sigh, and say, "I'm KNACKERED."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Darn it! An outstanding "Penis Chronicles" story, and I missed it.

    A police car chase with a top speed of 20 kmh? Tee hee. Must be difficult to drive and keep one's penis safely ensconced in a jar of pasta sauce.

    Yes Timmy, spending a day swearing on one's testicles would, I well imagine, knacker even the most well endowed of men.

    ReplyDelete
  7. No one answered my question.

    I take it the sauce was sans chili.

    I once had a bad relationship with chili.

    The very first time I prepared the stuff for cooking while in the cutting process I needed to do a wee.

    The wife mentioned that I should wash my hands.

    So I went to the loo and did what boys do. held there dicks and aimed (sort of), did a wee had a shake and washed me hands.

    About 10 seconds later my dick was on fire (should have washed me hands first, which is what the good wife meant), I kid you not I was in agony. Never realised chili was so potent.

    After 20 seconds I was running around in cirles while explaining to my young bloke what my problem was.

    He was deeply sympatheic and showed it by laughing his guts out all over the place.

    After about a minute my dick really hated me and I knew I had to take instant action.

    I raced into the bathroom and hung me dick in the sink and turned on the cold water. Heaven. At least the cold water did not complain.

    After about a minute or so I withdrew my dick from the sink but about 10 seconds later my dick turned into a flaming furnace once again.

    I ended up in the shower with the water running on my dick. Relief, once again. After around 15 minutes things calmed down.

    The young bloke was still rolling about in laughter and the wife had a quite a chuckle herself.

    About an hour later my dick was sleeping like a baby - thank the god of dicks.

    I should have listened to the wife.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes indeed Justin.
    We wives know best!(winks)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Not nearly as dramatic or colorful, however, I can advise that neither partner should rub down any part of their body with Deep Heat prior to attempting naked bodily contact.

    Really, you shouldn't.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I once picked my nose after chopping up some chilli.

    Not a good idea...

    ReplyDelete
  11. After considering what I've just posted, I was going to say TMI, but then, when considered in the light of Justin's post... I'm just not sure any more...

    ReplyDelete
  12. When considered in the light of Justin's post, no one can say much of anything Timmy. Difficult to top that story.

    Guess you didn't have the option of running cold water through your nostrils for 15 minutes.

    ReplyDelete