December 31, 2007

Predictions for 2008

Clever reviews on the year just past have been, err, non-existent. Perhaps the journo's are waiting for inspiration to strike in the New Year. (About as likely as the Oz journo collective being struck by lightening. )

Insightful analysis and horoscope readings for 2008 have been similarly lacking.

Thank goodness then, for the ever reliable Borowitz Report:

January: After paying five billion dollars for The Wall Street Journal, Rupert Murdoch will reduce the size of the paper by removing the facts.

February: Responding to the controversy over the CIAs’ waterboarding videotapes, President Bush will reaffirm his administration’s opposition to videotaping.

March: As the writers strike drags on, Paramount will produce the second “Transformers” film without a script, just like they did with the first one.

April: Monica Lewinsky will announce her candidacy for President of the United States. She will offer herself as an alternative to Hillary, saying, “It worked before.”

May: Attempting to bolster flagging enlistment rates, the Army will change its recruitment slogan from “Army Strong” to “I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Civil War.”

June: Population experts will warn that the world’s population will soar in 2008, largely due to the Spears sisters.

July: China will send a new brand of rat poison to the United States under the name “Delicious Cupcakes.”

August: Sen. Edward Kennedy will abandon plans to write his memoirs, explaining, “I can’t even remember what I did last night.”

September: At the Republican National Convention, G.O.P. nominee Mike Huckabee will select Jesus Christ as his running mate.

October: O.J. Simpson will be convicted in Las Vegas, proving that it is easier to get away with murder than stealing sports memorabilia.

November: President-elect Michael Bloomberg will defend the five-billion-dollar cost of his campaign, arguing, “Rupert Murdoch paid that much for The Wall Street Journal, and I get a whole country.”

December: In his last official act, President Bush will announce an exit strategy from Iraq. The President will withdraw all U.S. troops – through Iran.

6 comments:

  1. lol! Let's hope 2008 is a good year for all of us.

    I watched your lovely celebration in Sydney harbor. Lovely display!

    Happy New Year!

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  2. Anonymous10:57 PM

    Allow me to predict a happy and prosperous new year to you and yours, Caz.

    Best: Jacob

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  3. “I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Civil War.”

    Hahahahahaha. Love it. The Monica Lewinsky one was good too.

    All the best Caz

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  4. A great 2008 for you and your family too Cubicle, oh, and the animals! (Yes, yes, even the cat.)

    May I second and reciprocate that prediction Jacob?

    A goaty good year should also be had by all.

    I got a giggle out of the June prediction Father, among others.

    You have nearly a year to recover Father, and nearly a year to prepare yourself for the next end of year seasonal festivities: start practicing now dear Father, and you should be in fine, fine shape by the time 2008 ends.

    Hope it's a magnificent year for fluids and food, as well as for the beautiful wife and kiddlings.

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  5. Mmmmmm, random.

    Oh, was that your nutritional list for 2008?

    Good-o.

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