November 15, 2007

Off your bike

Scotsman Robert Stewart, who was caught wearing only a white t-shirt and naked from the waist down while initiating sex with his bicycle, has been sentenced to three years probation for sexually aggravated breach of the peace.

Stewart was with his own bike, in his own hostel room, when two cleaners took it upon themselves to open his unanswered door with the master key.

Stewart has also been placed on the Sex Offenders' Register for three years.

The 51 year old claims he'd had too much to drink and it was all a dreadful misunderstanding.


  1. Anonymous9:39 PM

    Now, he never would have had a problem if he had been in a potomac Caz!

  2. Anonymous9:45 PM

    Was it a girls' bike?

    There are some rather nice ones you know. I knew one when I was a lad, much easier on the you know whats if you slipped of the pedal..

    but I digess..

    in actual fact it must hace been a mountin bike, very popular these days you know..

    Me mates been riding one for years...

    Now I know why!

    Do they have girl mountin bikes?

  3. The book I'm reading at the moment, 'The Third Policeman' by Flann O'Brien, apparently contains the account of a 'tragic unrequited love affair between a man and his bicycle'. So there you go. Perhaps this fellow was a Flann O'Brien devotee?