November 3, 2007

Free! Carbon! Offsets!

Who among us really wants to go through daily life worrying about our unattractively ginormous carbon footprint?

Well, Free Carbon Offsets are dead serious about taking the load off, and not a minute too soon.
" was created with you in mind. We take the conservation steps so you don't have to. After obtaining your certificate of Carbon Offsets from us, you can proudly display it for all to see, to show others that you care about our environment. You can continue on in your daily life worry and guilt free.

What exactly will you do for my carbon offsets?

A: There are several steps we will take to do our part to help the environment, based on your level of participation:
  • 1-100 offsets: We will try our hardest to turn off the water for an extra ten seconds while we brush our teeth.
  • 101-1000 offsets: We will think about possibly using one less square of toilet paper every time we use the rest room. So you don't have to!
  • 1001-10000 offsets: At this level, we will think about not going out to lunch for one day. Gas savings, plus savings on one less burger made that day!
  • 10000+ offsets: Premium offsets. We will consider not taking a shower for a whole week!"
  • How good is that?!
  • Sign up for your free certificate, your free carbon offsets, and your guilt free future!
  • Marvelous stuff, truly marvelous.
  • Free Carbon Offsets

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