August 22, 2007

The Wicker Man

Some most unfortunate turns of phrase in the reporting of this serious crime:
A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said today.

Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict".

The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation.

The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.

"It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper.

"I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."


  1. You are not going to believe this Caz, but I swear it's true.
    I read that story this morning and thought of you! Well, I thought of mentioning it to you, but got tied up and it slipped my mind.
    I did read that he was watching porn at the time of the assault.

    What's it to her, anyway, they were fuckin' estranged after all!

  2. You are not going to believe this either, Caz, but I read this story and thought of you, too!

    Not really. I'm teasing. I don't associate you with stories of genital mutilation ;-)

  3. Anonymous8:50 AM

    No I don't either cube, but our Caz has covered a couple of "Penis" stories before! That's what made me think of her.

    You have to admit, it was rather a bizzare way of showing ones displeasure with another.

    Lot's of pent up anger and unresolved issues there, I would think.

  4. You may have noticed that I've gone to the trouble of adding a penis label, "penis chronicles", since men and their appendages are not uncommonly found in news stories.

    I didn't run with the dwarf who had his penis stuck in a vacuum, from the day before (part of a comedy act at the festival in Edinburgh?), as I thought that was unremarkable; happens all the time.

  5. Anonymous12:04 PM

    Flambe phallis Batman! What next, corned cock and cold salad?