June 12, 2007

What a difference a day makes

A mere few days in jail can change a girl's life, really it can.

The vapidly vain can find god (wow, bet that's never happen in a jail before); imagine untold selfless good deeds that will be executed upon release; and brain cells, hitherto in hibernation, come budding forth to form new connections; all this and much more.

It's all rather wonderful and breathtaking.

I'm almost impressed that Paris Hilton knows her own age and has acknowledged that playing dumb at 26 years old is not cute. Truly, I'm not making that up: they were her words.

I'm almost impressed that Paris "felt caged" during her first bout of incarceration (which led to her aborted home detention caper), as she was in fact "caged" and recognizing such shows that she has a remarkably deep understanding of her surroundings at any given time.

Although, let’s not get too excited over her transformation. Paris told Barbara Walters (well, why waste your precious phone calls on loved ones, when you can talk to the press?) that “god had released her”, which is not in any strict sense true, since she is, after all, still behind bars. Still, it sounds as though they have her on some pretty neat drugs if she thinks that god has intervened and let her out.

[Sorry, no link – if you feel compelled, try searching on “Barbara Walters: God has released me” – there’s a video. Earlier written copy seems to have vanished.]


  1. Anonymous10:08 PM

    Aww, I don't know Caz..Perhaps SHE HAS finally realized what a useless selfish life's she's been leading..
    Maybe I'm just an optimist..

    " God had released her" which is not in any strict sense true since she is after all behind bars.

    I say again Caz.. Oh Ye of little faith!!!


  2. No Kath, I’m not buying it for a second. Hilton converted to every religion the day after being sentenced, dressed demurely for three weeks, and generally spun a new image. That image “make over” continues. Don’t get suckered by manipulative PR. This is a person with no scruples. Hey, this is the girl who decided that it was smarter to take a share in the profits for a sex video with her in it, rather than taking legal action to have it taken off the Internet.

    You probably didn’t read her latest press release, which was clearly written by her PR people, containing as it did, not a single thought or grammatically well structured sentence that she could have ever come up with herself, at least not in this lifetime.

    In truth Kath, I don’t believe that jail has switched the light on for her – as much as it’s beneath her normal standard of living, and a great shock to her (what was she expecting for goodness sake?), jail isn’t her big wake up call.

    Immediately before she checked into jail, Hilton attended the US music awards. Thankfully, I’ve only seen a little bit of the footage, because it was brutal, vicious, mean, nasty, cruel. Hilton was as close to tears as a person could be. For good reason. Even for her, the unavoidable conclusion was that she was simply a laughing stock amongst her “peers”. Not lauded. Not liked. They were laughing at her, not with her. All her “savvy” PR and “brand” building meant nought to that crowd, and their true thoughts about her oozed all over the auditorium. After that, going to jail would have almost been a blessed relief.

    I mark the music awards as her epiphany Kath; the moment when she realised that she was despised for her very existence.

  3. Ah, you saw the Sarah Silverman video at the music awards then? What did you make of that? I wonder why Silverman chose to do that? She's an immensely clever and funny comic who specialises in 'offensive', deliberately politically incorrect humour, more or less because she's interested in what's offensive, and why. So she was sort of just trying another type of offensive humour.

    Maybe she was reasoning that people made jokes like this all the time behind Paris' back, and that saying it in Paris' face was just being honest. (In this interview with The Onion, she called the interviewer a 'fucking idiot', so it's not exactly out of character.)

  4. Hers was the most covered set of jokes, but not the only person who "did Paris" on the night.

    I rather enjoy cruel humour, or certainly as much as any other person, but this was cringe-worthy stuff Timmy.

    It would have been vicious even without Hilton in the audience, but given that she was sitting there, smack bang at the centre, having a couple of thousand people laugh at the idea of her being sent off to jail early, and her oral adventures and so on ... gawd, it was awful.

    At that moment, Hilton was a woman without a friend in the world, and she knew it.

    As with that Simpson's episode: you could freeze frame the film footage of Hilton at the music awards and pinpoint the exact moment when her little heart broke.

    Having said that, I don't buy her moral, intellecutal and spiritual transformation. She might not have much going for her, but she has the art of manipulating the media and the public down pat. No normal or sane person turns themself into a "brand" and then insists on taking themselves and their "brand" seriously. (This is the woman who claimed she would never get breast implants because it would "cheapen her brand".)

    Truly - in a mere few days, she has changed her entire being, the entire basis of her shallow existence on this earth? Nuh, I don't think so.

    Was she a sitting duck for the nastiness dished out at the music awards? Yeah, I think so. Someone had to say it, eventually, and they did.

  5. I would say that Paris will be
    heavily sedated throughout her incarceration.