June 6, 2007

Oozy rash jail scare for Paris

Having endured a gruelingly long 35 hours in jail, Paris Hilton’s psychiatrist was allegedly rushed to the scene for two hours to make soothing noises at the infamous celebutard and heirhead.

It’s possible that Paris required psychiatric treatment to help ally her nervous-Nellie concerns over “a staph infection outbreak at the jail that has caused an oozy rash on many inmates.”

Which is a little strange, given Paris’s renowned herpes-like outbreaks and eager distribution thereof among a mass of fine American men. Who'd have thought she be afraid of a little oozy rash?


  1. The walking petri dish isn't worried about a little rash...

    She's worried about the direction of infection.

    She's used to being the infector, not the infectee.

  2. 'Heirhead' is one of the funniest jokes I've read in a long time!

  3. Timmy - that's just plain tragic. You need to get out more.

    So, what wasn't there to like about "spawntourage"? (Which I thought was rather less obvious.)