March 11, 2007


Last month Mugabe and 10,000 of his closest friends celebrated his 83rd birthday with a massive feast.

Meanwhile, Zimbabwe has the lowest life expectancy, by far, in the world: 34 for women and 37 for men. In 1990 it was 62.

Last year, 42,000 women died from childbirth; less than a decade ago, the figure was under 1,000.

In 2005 there were roughly 4,000 more deaths each week than births.

The weekly death rate exceeds Darfur's.

Mugabe has already had more than his biblical three score and ten. The man needs to be taken from this mortal coil, soon, real soon. Any volunteers?

Via The New Republic


  1. I'd like to take a shot, Caz, if someone reliable like you would drive the getaway car.

    Bugger due process, coz there ain't none in Zimbabwe.

  2. Anonymous10:16 PM

    This mugg-a-buggy fella, he ain't anywhere near Tear-anne is he?

    If he is don't worry, we gonna take care o' him soon with the 103rd army we gona move outa south Berlin.

    We'll see tham Zebrans right, we'll give democracy and the right to vote too.

  3. Well, if you know what you're doing George, Jacob and I will be happy to be waiting with fresh lemonade and a BBQ when you're done.

    Just get a move on, 'kay?

  4. Anonymous2:18 PM

    This'll be a turkey shoot. I'll make sure that Dick shows. He sure knows how to shoot y'know.

    I been informed about this Mugg-a-bee fella. He seems like he's causin' unrest over the area. Bit like the unrest in the Middle East: it's causin' unrest in the region.

    After we get through with That Eye-ran fella, we'll swing by and put all the options on that Mugg-a-bee's table.

    Hang on...he aint no terrst now is he? Ya know I don't talk to terrsts.

    Maybe I'll get my mate John to go deal with him. Hey! Can ya git that liitle John what-his-name on a line - I need for him to do sommin'.

  5. Anonymous3:58 PM

    Just had a thought. Maybe John can organise his allies in them Wealthy Common Nations down there to the job.

    I'll 'Leeza to talk to him.

  6. George, ah what a man!

    Drunka is your side kick?


    No Mugabe is no terrorits, he just murders and starves his own country men, women, and children. In largish numbers.

    So, if you and Drunka want to take the lead, me and Jacob will cover your asses with absolute diligence.

  7. Anonymous9:09 PM

    As y'all may know, I aint into that stuff - y'konw, coverin' anyone's ass. Especially my ass. Made some laws 'bout it too.

    I sure am glad t'know he aint no terrst. But I hear what you're sayin' and if what you're sayin' is what I'm being read (I don't read y'know, I have others do all that for me) then I think you'll find we removed that fella already. We got ridda Saddam back a few years. He was an awful tyrant - murdered and oppressed his own and all. Through 'em in jail with no chance of any trial.

    I didn't know he had that alias, Mugabuggy or whatever. Dick told me 'bout the others he used like al-Qaeda. Didn't fool us - 'specially when added "in Iraq" at the end. Must think our Intelligence is real dumb. Not even Colin Powell could argue 'bout that one!

    I aint heard he that went an holed up in Effcra. Have to talk to Condi 'bout that.

    Hey, if you and you friend Jacob want to have a weeny-roast or BBQ as y'all call it, I'm in. John threw a good one a few years back. Really enjoyed that gator chaser fella. My sort a dude.

  8. George - buddy - mate - pal:

    In a rush, and don't want you to be alert or alarmed, but you do know that Johnny is going to be tossed overboard, with gusto, later this year?

    Just warning you, that's all, 'cause I want you to be prepared for the worst, and so you can have a head start on finding a new friend. 'kay?

  9. Anonymous9:53 PM

    No, he aint goona be tossed overboard. Y'know, It'll be 'cause of his leaky ship - LibX.

    There'll be them o' course who'll say he scuttled himself 'cause he weren't interested in handin' over to the exec but y'kow? I aint worried. He's a man o' steel and so he'll likely sink like a stone.

    Bit like me. I already done it and it aint bad sinkin'so low as to be excreted out the ass of a rattlesnake.

  10. Anonymous9:54 PM

    Heh, heh.

  11. Sheesh - of course, he's going to throw himself overboard, but not before he throws all those other guys overboard first!

  12. But what a way to go ... a tidal wave wipe out - gawd, it's going to be awesome!

  13. Anonymous10:20 PM

    Don't know that it'll be a tidal wave but the surf's up.

    Think it'll stay that way too. Individuals coming out like Antrax Robustus are a good indicator.

  14. According to today's poll figures, both Howard and Costello would lose their seats, not a single seat in Melbourne would be won by Libs, and in total, they would be lucky to have enough seats left to form a footy team.

    Must admit I gulped at that prospect.

    Guess a few people will get nervy when the time comes, and take pity on the Libs at the thought of them only winning three and a half seats, versus 1257 seats to the ALP. So, I'm figuring it can't possibly be that bad when the real vote comes. But, first time for everything. Who knows.

  15. Anonymous12:23 AM

    Yes people will sharpen their view when the time comes. The result, I think, is reasonably clear cut though: ALP victory. It is a matter of how many seats.

    Remember that to win government by one or two from where the ALP currently sits would, in years past, be called a landslide.

    As I wrote on Harry's site, there's a real Keating '96 about this: that's the difference between now and Latham.

    If you sat on the treasury benches at the present you would read the ALP primary vote figures and suffer the same reation the ALP did reading same back in '96: call for a well connected headhunter experienced in government outplacements.

    This time I don't think it's "the economy stupid". People are (have been for some time) tired of those currently holding the reigns in Canberra. For the first time they seemingly have an alternative. It's an alternative that they apparently refuse to have tarnished by the not so buffed and polished occupiers of the treasury benches.

    The desperation will mount - particularly if an election budget is seen as cynically as the Panama/Rudd/Cambell battleplan seemingly was.