It started with a pathetic – nay – a cowardly target; one set so low that an amoeba with no commitment to the concept would still have executed the idea with greater success.
With highly strung nerves and more hand wringing than Macbeth’s mother, AP news instituted a blackout on all things Paris Hilton.
Oh, I’m sorry, did you blink and miss that ban, in its entirety?
Snap, so did the rest of us.
What could have been a noble thing, a kindness to planet on the scale of sucking 3 billion tonnes of carbon from the earth’s atmosphere, a cause célèbre for the millennium, became, instead, a whimpering one week experiment, from which AP learned nothing, nothing at all, except, perhaps, refining the art of torturing news consumers. Teasing them with the possibility of, some day, being able to wake up and not know anything about what Paris Hilton did this week, or last year, or the year before that.
Yes, AP danced around seductively with their seven veils, only to scurry out from behind the curtain like a puny hoax bomber. The
"So what have we learned from the ban? "It's hard to tell what this really changes, since we didn't have to make any hard decisions," says Jesse Washington, AP's entertainment editor. "So we'll continue to use our news judgment on each item, individually."
Ah, so, that’ll be business as usual.
More Paris, more Lohan, more Doherty.
I never knew it was called news judgment.
(Oh, and yes, yes, sorry about the dog’s breakfast of metaphors.)