November 8, 2006

Recipes for James

James needs cooking suggestions, preferably by way of formal recipes.

James has no oven. Well, he has an oven, but it doesn't work.

I have a squillion recipes, a great many of which commence with: "pre-heat oven to xxx degrees".

So, let’s offer up a recipe or two, or ten, for the hungry James, but leave out the roasts or the oven cooked casseroles.

According to his last comments, James dislikes things like sultanas or bananas or pineapple in his cooking – fruity stuff and sweet stuff, in other words. Perhaps James is already sweet and fruity as he is.

Cubicle has layed claim to being a cook ... hmm, a family favorite recipe for James from Cube, perhaps? Come on Cubbie!

Kath will come good, because, well, Kath is a wonderful sort from way back.

Mrs DrunkaWife, possibly has a recipe or two from the wilds of Denver, or even Spain? [But no dead weird bird recipes, this is a family blog - 'kay - ed]

Geoff - come on, you got your very own duck cake, with blue ribbons, perhaps you have a nice recipe that you could share with James?

Tim is a young man about town, not unlike James, only really different. One would think that bachelor Tim would have a repertoire of reliable and manly recipes that he may be willing and able to share.

Darlene, a chicky babe domestic goddess type, for sure, but, you know, a gel still has to eat (and open cat food), so maybe Darl will offer something from her greatest hits of stove top stunners.

I was going to suggest that Jacob could show James how to whip up a side of goat, but Patrick seems to have gotten the jump on the goat cook up.

Patrick, of Blueberry Fool fame [whad-do-ya-mean-you’ve-never-heard-of-him – ed], kicks things off with his entirely involuntary offerings:

Mustard Pork Chops

Satay Curry with Chilli Mango Chutney

[Don't let the "chutney" word put you off James, this sounds yumm-o and not too sweet- ed]

Goat Curry

So, get to it goodly and kind folks, pop your recipe ideas for James into the comments - when you have time ... no pressure, no pressure, really .. this blog isn't going anywhere, and James can only cook so many meals in a day. Or leave them over at James' place, under any random post.


  1. Anonymous12:08 AM

    Does James have a wok? And/or a hot plate? Electric or gas? A frypan? A saucepan? A microwave oven? A kettle or other independent place that could be used for the boiling of water? A telephone and/or phonebook?

    I have many recipes I'd be pleased to share. But I need to know the equipment first.

  2. Ah Geoff, you crack me up!

    I think we're pretty safe on the hot plate/s (let's assume more than one of them works); frypan; saucepans; kettle; boiled water; and clean towels.

    As for gas or electric: we'll have to await further handy dandy info from James.

    (He's over there in Perth, with Kath, otherwise I'd run round to his suburb and inspect the kitchen. Well, he's not "with" Kath, in any bible sense, or even in a near and present danger sense; just vaguely over there in the West, each of them, in their respective kitchens.)

    I think he knows how to dial for a pizza, so I'd check off a "yes" to the phone, and a "yes" to white and yellow pages access.

    The experiment is to expand James' culinary expertise, and to ensure that he is well fed and happy, without becoming bored witless with his daily nutritional intake.

    James may also need to impress girls, from time to time, with his general domestic skills and ability to present a five course meal effortlessly. [A young man needs more than a carefully selected collection of coordinated scatter cushions to impress a lass these days.]

  3. "Tim is a young man about town, not unlike James, only really different..."

    I reckon both will appreciate that remark in their own ways...

    Meanwhile, I'm still considering Kathy's challenge to offer a goat dish. My squeamishness at the idea is abating, since I'm after all a meat eater, still.

    I recently stumbled upon a really ... um ... challenging sequence of images depicting the butchering and barbecuing of a goat - from an academic site, no less. Hit the link, if you dare...

    The upside of goat cuisine is that pre-slaughtered goats are readily available in rural and semi-rural areas, from where they may readily, and literally, be plucked from the roadside. Station wagon, utility or humvee would be recommended for such expeditions. Try to practice feigned obliviousness to the anguished cries of little kiddies for their pet "Billy", as you make good your getaway.

    Slaughtering and butchering may be accomplished freeform or halal, as preferred. Sharp and sturdy implements, needless to say, are highly recommended.

  4. Yes, I remember what it was like to cook and eat, in the days before my capitalist slave masters kept me back until 9.00PM in the office. Now when I get home I subsist on a meagre diet of beer and ... well, that's it, really.

    Um, I do have a few recipes, though nothing so fancy as mustard pork chops.

    Why not try something simple like a bruschetta? Just char a slice of bread - good, hard Italian bread like ciabatta - in a frypan. Make a salad with lightly-diced tomatoes, crushed garlic, basil, pepper, and salt, and drizzle good olive oil over the top. Maybe add a soft cheese like fetta or mozarella. (The salad also works well with extra-salty black olives; best place to get them from is a Greek or Italian deli, but the supermarket should have them.)

    Alternatively, toast topped with a few slices of salmon, scrambled eggs, and parsley is delicious.

    This has been my fanciest meal attempted to date, and it had some rather ... disturbing results, as you can read for yourselves. I link to the actual recipe in the post.

    Can't remember any other recipes at the moment - but maybe I'll remember them a bit later today.

  5. Believe it or not, I actually lived in a house with no oven (or several doors but that's anotehr story) for nearly a year of my life. We called it "Paper St", in reference to Tyler Durden's house in Fight Club. There was no hyperbole involved.

    James needs to get a variety of Asian stir fry ingredients, and remember the golen rule: Don't overload the wok!

  6. Anonymous4:30 PM

    Gee James aren't you sick and tired of not having an oven???

    Anyway here is one from me.It's easy to make and doesn't take very long to cook.

    I know what a busy boy you must be. What with studying and chasing birds and all!

    However I digress.( Yeah I know, "Get on with it Kath"!)

    Salmon Patties:

    2 large potatoes,
    boiled and mashed.

    1 white onion finely chopped.

    250gm can of red salmon flaked(tuna also works well)

    1 egg

    2 tbsp chopped parsley.

    2 tbsp chopped dill.

    lots of salt and freshly ground black pepper.

    dry breadcrumbs

    oil for frying.

    Combine the above ingredients except for the breadcrumbs and the oil. Shape the mixture into patties roughly about 7cm across,and about 1cm thick. Roll them in the dry breadcrumbs. (you could substitute flour if you wish) Heat a heavy frypan and add a thin film of oil.Shallow fry them on both sides until they are heated through and have developed a rich golden crust.

    Serve them with a wedge of lemon and salad.

    I usually make a nice Italian tossed salad. This recipe goes down a treat with my lot.

    The patties are nice cold the next day too.

    You can't beat a nice lamb roast though, James.!!!!

  7. Sorry James, all my recipes begin, "Sacrifice one
    goat . . ." It is the way of my people.

  8. Anonymous4:54 PM

    Hmmm ..... Looks suspiciously like a turkey to me. Drunka, you been on the turps again mate, eh?

  9. Sooo, the only thing we need to know now Patrick - which one did you look like: Pitt or Norton? Seriously, we want pictures!

    Oh, so it was only the house that looked like something out of Fight Club?


  10. Salmon (or tuna) patties with a nice salad and some fresh sour dough, or Italian bread.

    Hmm, yep, I'm salivating Kath!

    Ah, the good old fish pattie, you can't go past it as a tasty, yet also economical family meal. A no fuss stove top cook-up. Yep, what a perfect suggestion for James.

  11. Drunka - "the way of your people" is many, varied, and colorful.

    The baby goat looks unappetisingly burnt, but I suppose that's the whole point of a sacrifice - it's not like the instructions say to "medium rare one goat".

    Is that you on the right, when you were a little lad, with the big quiff?

  12. Snaps has offered up this beaut site James, which has a goodly number of “one pot” meals, as opposed to one pot beers, or one pot pots. Worth checking:

    C/O Snapple, of:

  13. Anonymous9:04 AM

    Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack!!!!!!!!

  14. Also good is recipezaar:

    It's American predominantly, so there's an odd reliance on weird processed ingredients, but many of the recipes are great, and i love the ratings thing even if I don't agree with it often.

  15. doh. Forgot to close my hyperlink.

    Also Caz, I'm - much to your disappointment, I'm sure ;) - far more in the edward norton end of the gene pool than the Pitt, and I think someone peed in the water...

  16. Patrick, great recipes, with weird processed ingredients, and, um, ratings that you rarely agree with?

    Try not to gush so much next time you provide a web review, 'kay?

    Hey, Pitt may be pretty, but Norton has his moments - do like his acting too, though he seems to be having a rather low key career, of late, or perhaps a bit longer.

    Kath - you really SHOULD sleep in a bit on Friday mornings, yes, I think THAT would be the idea!

  17. Anonymous12:45 AM

    Caz.. I wish I could old mate... But I get all excited about duck friday.

    Guess it's a bit like a kid gettin' excited the night before Christmas!

    You know , they say having kids keeps you young.
    Perhaps I just haven't grown up yet eh?

  18. I make this Kale and chorizo soup all the time. It's quite easy and very delicious.

    One note: I prefer to use the spanish chorizo, not the portuguese variety.

  19. Awww thanks for all your help, guys! Will definitely have to work my way through a few of those recipes...

    Who needs an oven?


  20. Anonymous10:32 AM

    Drunkawife finally steps up to meet the challenge! I didn't respond earlier because I was busy actually making this recipe. I had to make it for 20 people attending a Zen meditation retreat. I was really nervous--you know how those Zen people can be. If they don't like the soup, they beat you with little sticks. Fortunately, everyone seemed to like it.

    I personally thought it was wonderful! Unlike my mother, who got so compulsive and anxiety-ridden about making food for other people that she couldn't taste anything she cooked until the next day (and I don't mean that she couldn't eat it--she would eat it, but she couldn't taste it), I thoroughly enjoy my own cooking, often much more than anyone else--just ask Drunkahusband!

    Anyway, here's a link to it (I found it on the internet). It's called Vegan Red Lentil Soup. I couldn't find red lentils, but it worked just fine with green.

    Vegan Red Lentil Soup

  21. A creamy and delicious fusion soup?

    What more could a young man about town ask for!

    Despite myself, I have to admit this sounds rather yumm-o Mrs Drunka. I'll have to try it sometime.