August 1, 2006

A sharp intestinal crisis

Next time you’re trying to dream-up a plausible excuse for calling in sick, or begging off from a not-at-all-enticing social engagement, take a leaf from the book of Cuban President Fidel Castro, who has temporarily handed over duties to his brother, because extreme stress "had provoked in me a sharp intestinal crisis with sustained bleeding that obligated me to undergo a complicated surgical procedure."

Hell, it sounds convincing!


  1. O, how difficult and stressful it must be to be the dictator of a nation:

    9.00am - Breakfast. General crushing of dissent while drinking one's orange juice.

    10.00am - Rounding up of political agitators and jailing them on various dubious means.

    10.30am - Morning tea.

    11.00am - Performing various tedious tasks, necessary to the health of the Cuban republic - ie, signing various forms, stamping various papers, etc, etc.

    12.00am - Lunch.

    1.00am - Siesta.

    2.00am - Delivering a terse and to-the-point lecture to the masses that lasts for a brief four hours.

    6.00am - Dinner.

    My heart bleeds for him. Oh, wait - his heart bleeds ...

  2. "Get worse, get worse soon.

    Get worse, get worse soon."

    That's the only thing I can think of to sing to that murderous thug.