August 20, 2006

James splutters back into existence

OMG!!! James Waterton, lately of Samizdata fame, and previously of The Daily Constitutional fame, is attempting to be the first man alive to overcome writers block by ... “splutter” ... blogging.

Yes, James is back, blocked, and in need of prunes.

Let’s all do our little bit to heckle and take photographs.

Cheers James! Good to have you back where you belong.

And, uh, you know, good luck with the blockage and everything. Sending some triple ply Sorbent your way, just in case the blogging cure works.


  1. Gawd Caz. Where ever did you procure such a pic!!(Sounds of Kath , dry retching)

  2. So, you're not interested in knowing how long it took me to train an elephant to shit into a bag?

  3. Shit no!! Emphatically ... Shit No
    Kath puts finger in her ears and sings ..La La LA LA...!

  4. Bit off topic Caz.. How is the pricess and the sprog!! Hope all is A- okay

  5. Sorry Caz .. Meant princess Cut me a break mate ! After all it is a Sunday Night... And .. I had to take a gaggle of 10 yr ol;d girls to Macca's and the movies ( hoodwinked .. don't bother crappy movie)

    My daughters 10th birthday!! I reckon I'm gettin' roo old for this stuff!!

  6. Kath - ya sure? Seriously, training elephants to crap into bags is a long and facinating story ... any time you're up to it, really, happy to fill you in ...

    A gaggle ... 10 yr old ... girls ... aaarrrrrhhhhh!

    Have a drink Kath, have 10 drinks, no, make that 20, one each for the last 10 years, and one each for the decade ahead. You deserve it, you know you do. You know this will only get worse.

    The Princess and the number one golden boy are excellent. Golden boy kept wanting hugs ... ooohhhh, sooooo cute ... but only because he wanted me to pick him up so that he could try to grab his Mum's birthday balloons.

    We very nearly burnt the house down with candles and sparklers - that was really fun.

    Did not entirely ruin the yummy cheese cake though. Princess blames ME because I bought the sparklers, but HEY, I would NEVER have put sparklers ON the cake, no siree, I'm not the one who did that. Personally, I thought the extra minerals from the black residue could only do us good.

    All in all, an excellent time was had by all.

  7. You ARE A GOODMUM AND GRANDMUM cAZ!!. cAn ya give me a hint mate!! It' sure is a hard slog mate!!

  8. I don't think I hold a candle - or a sparkler - to you in the mother stakes Kath. You're a beaut Mum.

    Kick back, stare at your sheep screen saver, a nice glasse of wine ...

    See, all is right with the world and your little family and you're the best mum in the world.

    [Special tip: always have a long broom handy to turn off the smoke alarm.]

  9. Ahh Caz ...... You gotta laugh.. Don;t ya mate !!

    Sorry for whinging mate!! But sometimes.. Ya know.. It all just get's to you ,mate!

    Though I would not swap me kids for quids,,,,!!

  10. Ahhh Cazzy,You bought tears to me eyes. You know... You are all right mate!! I really love ya mate! I 'll let you into a little secret maTE!~~! I try real hard but... I ain't a really good mum.. I am just not a natural some>> I always worry...............Just keep on tryin'!!

  11. Yeah cAZ... That is a great sheep screen saver mate!.

    Sweet dreams Caz ..You know>> You are all right mate!!

  12. The worry thing never ever goes away Kath, even when they're all grown up.

    Small tip: all those "natural" mum's are full of shit.

    You have a huge job on your hands, be gentle with yourself, you're the only Mum they have - and you love your kids with all your heart - see, that's what they care about, and they wouldn't trade you for quids either. Nothing else matters, not material things, not the story you were too tired to read, not the dodgy costume for the school play. You keep them safe and clean and fed, and love them. That's a real Mum, that's a natural Mum.

    Nighty night Kath, sweet dreams.

  13. Anonymous8:36 AM

    Sorry for rambling on last night Caz.... Guess I did have one too many glasses of chardonnay!

    Thanks for those kind and reassuring words though. They were much appreciated..

  14. Anonymous10:06 PM

    Well. I want to know how the elephant was trained even if no one else does.

  15. Anonymous10:16 PM

    Reminds of the elephant that was trained to rob banks.

    It crashed through the glass front door, smashed through the counters, tore open the vault with its trunk, threw all the money into a bag it was carrying on its back, made its escape and was last seen running down the street in the direction of Murwillumbah.

    The bank staff call the police. The cops arrive and start questioning the confused and shocked staff. "What kind of elephant was it?" they ask the manager. "What do you mean?" says the manager. "Well was it an African elephant or an Indian elephant? "What's the difference?" asked the bemused manager. "Well an African elephant has big ears and an Indian elephant has small ears." explained the cop.

    "I don't know" answered the manager. "He was wearing a stocking over his head."

  16. I've only just worked out that Kath is from W.A - duh!

    Now that explains the ducks, I suppose. (But not the long walk to Sydney.)

  17. Hey Caz!

    Where did you get the pick of the editorial staff of the Courier Mail and Gold Coast Bulletin plying their trade?

    Lies! All lies! :) Hoodwinked was a GOOD flick! Of course, I had the DVD from the US sitting on my table 6 weeks before it even opened at cinemas here. Still think the squirrel in Over The Hedge was better though (worth sitting through to the end for that bit :)

  18. Anonymous9:11 PM

    Jai baby... Hoodwinked is NOT a patch on Shrek!!

    It lacks the charm and whimsy.!!

    Besides which.. You were not pelted with popcorn by ten year old barbarians whe you watched it mate!!