April 20, 2006

Vox Pox

From The Onion:

Donald Rumsfeld is under pressure to resign, first by a cadre of retired generals, now by Senior Democrats for his handling of the war. What do you think?

Danielle Bennet, Daycare Provider

"As a daycare provider, I sympathize with Rumsfeld. 2,500 kids die on your watch and suddenly you're not qualified to do your job?"

Ruth Malhotra, a student at the Georgia Institute of Technology, sued the institution over her right to speak freely against homosexuality in accordance with her religion. What do you think?

Louis Neprud, Systems Analyst

"If we don't protect freedom of speech, how will we know who the assholes are?"

Scientists have cloned pigs that are engineered to contain omega-3 fatty acids, which produce healthier pork. What do you think?

Mary Keller, Librarian

"Can't they put some of that omega stuff in cigarettes?"

A 1,700-year-old papyrus document called the Gospel of Judas indicates that the apostle Judas betrayed Jesus to the Romans at his request. What do you think?

Rick Fender, Electronics Salesperson

"First Mary Magdalene's not a whore, and now this. I'm sick of changing my entire belief system every time they find a scrap of papyrus in the middle of the desert."

According to an article by Seymour Hersh in this issue of The New Yorker, the U.S. has drawn up plans to preemptively attack Iran to stop their nuclear program, including possibly using tactical nuclear weapons. What do you think?

Lynette Cobb, Grocer

"At least we won't need an exit strategy."

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