October 7, 2005

The prosecution rests – case closed on global warming!

We now have conclusive evidence that global temperature is inversely related to the number of pirates on earth.

Approximate number of pirates is shown on the horizontal, with average global temperatures on the vertical.

Clearly the problem of global warming can be expeditiously addressed with the vigorous implementation of pirate apprenticeship schemes in all parts of the world, but most particularly focused in first world developed countries. This initiative should hold enormous appeal to the young in search of an altruistic but lucrative career path, as well as the more mature worker looking for a sea change. Plus everyone gets to wear really zany costumes, use weapons of choice, and talk in funny voices.


  1. Aaarrgghh!!!
    Shiver me timbers andsplice the mainbrace.

    We be putting together for grant application even as we type aaargghh!

    -- Vicious Nick and Nora The Doxie

  2. Anonymous8:12 PM

    Can you indicate the methodology used to estimate the number of pirates?

  3. rafe - From the pirate census data that has been collected since the dawn of the very first pirate, of course!

    Pirates are meticulous administrators and recorders of data about themselves and their deeds.

    However, a spanner was thrown into the works earlier today when someone casually suggested that it’s not pirates that correlate with global warming, it’s the number of pirate ships! The supposition being that the decline in pirate sailing ships, and therefore shipping sails, has some how effected the flow of wind.

  4. Hmm. I've long felt that the world was sorely lacking valuable pirate activity, and now science has proven my suspicions.

    Thank you for you work.

  5. Anonymous1:49 PM

    Perhaps the appropriate methodolgy would be the numercal size of the dow-jones index. You can be sure some wide scale killings, of both humans & non-humans were made/done especially when it goes "up".
    Is not the stock market (capitalist) phrase re success: "making a killing" ?