What pisses me off is when I've got seven or eight record company fat pig men sitting there telling me what to wear.
Having picked the wrong lifeboat, Labor seems set to clamber back on the Titanic. With the mast broken, the rudder lost and the rocks looming, the backbench's panic is understandable: and their despair is far more credible than Julia Gillard's claim that the raft really is afloat and making headway.
Gillard's problem is that like all regicides, her legitimacy rests solely on being able to deliver for her backers; with that in tatters, the result is mayhem not seen in federal politics since the collapse of the Scullin Labor government in 1931. But at least that government shattered on matters of principle; bereft of principles from the outset, the Gillard government has none over which to brawl. Little wonder its death agonies have all the dignity of a fight between rabid dogs.
But far from managing those threats, Gillard seems intent on entrenching as many bad policies as she can, while locking in one unaffordable spending commitment after the other. Captive to the unions that created her, her goal is to spoil Tony Abbott's pitch, regardless of the costs.
Even more than the scandals that have swirled about her, it is that willingness to undermine our prosperity that makes Gillard unfit to govern. Even more than the chaos that surrounds her, it breaks faith with the electorate, compromising its right to change course. And even more than the repeated failures, it is why Labor's only refuge is on the ship of fools.
10:42am: Kevin Rudd has arrived in Canberra with his usual mix of folksy concern for whether reporters might trip, an obligatory mention of his grand daughter and just general Kevin-ness.
Why does Kevin appear so delighted in most photographs? Is he so self absorbed that he cannot see how pompous and self righteous this renders him in many voter's eyes?So, there you have it: vote only for unhappy politicians.
Labor have nothing to be smiling about yet the Gang of Four going to the LGA dinners are similarly also all smiles as if pleased with themselves.
Perhaps it's because they have no shame, aparatchiks (sic) all in a travesty of democracy.
Let's vote for more Independents folks and try to end this Tory / Labor Punch and Judy tent show.
Peter Garrett has put the future of school funding reforms into the Labor leadership mix, saying he will quit as Education Minister if there is a switch back to Kevin Rudd.That ought to frighten the bejeezus out of everyone in the ALP.
Mr Garrett on Sunday said he would not serve in a Rudd cabinet despite persistent polling showing the government headed for annihilation under Prime Minister Julia Gillard.
Coles supermarkets are selling bakery goods as ''freshly baked'' even though they were made up to six months earlier in Europe.
Croissants, danishes and muffins are being shipped frozen from Germany, Belgium and Denmark.
Janet Blythman, the head of the National Baking Industry Association, said a range of baked products from overseas would be shipped snap frozen. It would take a minimum of 10 weeks to reach Australia from Europe, she said. In its frozen state it would have a maximum shelf life of six to 12 months.Because there's no one local - on this continent - AT ALL - who can whip up some muffins, or Danish pastries, or 'artisan' breads that would be priced less on the shelves than the cost and resulting price of freezer storage and 10 weeks shipping?
If this parliament were a novel, it would be Cormac McCarthy's The Road - a post-apocalyptic nightmare of a civilised world descending into eternal darkness while humans wander a wasteland eating each other.The road to Labor apocalypse
No one knows what caused the armageddon. Whatever it was, it was very bad. Perhaps it was Kevin Rudd.
What presented as political debate this week was a work of fiction. It was as grounded in reality as McCarthy's frightening vision of depravity and loss of hope.
Despite my fear of being wrong a third time in a row, I will say this week is the nadir of federal politics.
I've said it twice in the past and both times I have been wrong - because it keeps getting worse. ...
The introduction of abortion on to a national stage already cluttered with nonsense was an objectionable political stunt. That is saying something considering the stunts performed in this parliament over the past three years.
...Just to demonstrate how badly it was received, even the country's leading feminists attacked the PM.
This is what Eva Cox from the Women's electoral lobby said about it: "I've got some concerns this was all about the backroom boys wanting to revive the misogyny speech because they got a good reaction to it. She conveniently overlooked many failings on her own watch that have affected women."
...In 2006, Gillard admitted during debate on RU486, that the legality of abortion was a state and territory issue. ... And rather than find furious disagreement with Abbott, she endorsed his position when he was health minister.
"Many members including the minister for health (Abbott) have adopted the Bill Clinton terminology that they would like to see a circumstance where abortion was safe, legal and rare. I agree with those comments. We would also like to see a circumstance where abortion was safe, legal and rare."
It is hard to believe that this newly confected fear campaign about Abbott changing his position on abortion was not all linked to the idiocy now known as Menugate.
It was an appalling incident. But it no way suggests that the Coalition is a collective misogyny club - as much as jokes by the unions about Abbott's relationship with his chief of staff doesn't mean the Labor caucus are all grubs.
As The Daily Telegraph revealed, Shorten is now counting numbers. And those numbers are falling Rudd's way.
One senior Labor MP said that, unless something happens, he was prepared to walk into caucus on Tuesday next week and challenge the PM himself.
"I'll blow the bloody show up," they said.
The problem now is that Labor is in such a disastrous state that Rudd is no longer even necessarily committed to coming back.
Like McCarthy's The Road, no one knows what happens in the end. Someone lives - but plenty of other people die.
Mr Gates was also quizzed on whether giving a reported $US10 million to each of his four children meant that he had lost perspective of how much money was worth.
He said he had "absolutely" lost perspective of a number of things in life.
"I haven't mowed the lawn for a long time," Mr Gates joked. "I forget what it's like. I do wash the dishes every night, so there are certain rituals that are worth maintaining."
Now Eddie Maguire has become a victim of his own political correctness. I really don’t have much sympathy for him – he helped set up the victim game at the start of the week.Grown men should grow up (c/o Kathy)
However, his comments highlight how juvenile our society has become.
The Thought Police and Rapid Joke Investigation Squads have jumped in to condemn Eddie for a comment, that was, well, just an innocent comment. There was no malice. There was no racism.
In fact, the whole debacle has become a huge joke. Except that it’s not funny and no one is laughing.
If you can’t handle a 13 year old yelling from the sidelines, as an individual the problem is yours, not hers. She’s just a girl.
If footballers are offended at being compared to big, hairy apes then maybe they are in the wrong business. After all, they make a living by chasing around a bit of pig-skin, much like a bunch of monkeys.
And if society can’t handle it either, then it says more about the brittleness of our culture than it does about anything else.
It’s time for grown men to grow up.
Racism? We don't get it, because there are no consequences for being an ignorant, smug arsehole in this country.
Had Eddie McGuire made his King Kong remark on US radio, he would not work in the American mainstream media again. Game over, Ed. Buy a yacht.