December 6, 2014

Abbott Government: Surprise, surprise

Instead, the coalition that promised “no surprises and no excuses” seems to offer a surprise or an excuse at every turn and a team that campaigned on restoring trust in politicians has disappointed voters. The budget was judged the worst in more than 20 years — a mess of the government’s own making because it limply allowed Labor to define the narrative as being cruel and unfair cuts from broken promises.

And so the political year ends.  One year of the Liberals, and they've not even run out of excuses yet.  Two years to go.

Tony Abbot needs Ricky Muir like candour to win back voters

December 2, 2014

Film endings for idiots

Film: Thelma and Louise
Ending: Going out in a blaze of glory after the long and dramatic police car chase the two friends triumphantly speed off the edge of a desert cliff, leaving the audience uncertain of the outcome.
Original ending: In a slightly more definitive ending the women’s convertible is seen blazing over the cliff and captured tumbling all the way down to the canyon floor most certainly being pulverised in the process. 

Film: Titanic
Ending: The romantic tear-jerker ends with old Rose tossing her diamond into the ocean before dying peacefully in her sleep to be reunited with her love Jack.
Original ending: In a far more dramatic turn of events, Rose is seen scaling the rails of the boat much to the horror of her daughter and the treasure hunter, Bill Paxton who rush to her only to be given a speech about the beauty of life before Rose hurls the diamond overboard upon which a crew member yells, “that really sucks lady!”

Barack Obama: The Disappointer-in-chief

Unusually, from The Age, a fair summation.

Barack Obama: The Disappointer-in-chief

November 29, 2014

Do drunk people make worse laws?

 I'm fairly sure that this relates only to testing for alcohol consumption, rather than bad breath (although politicians with bad breath really should also be fined). 

ALP leader, Daniel Andrews - who is now premier elect - has indicated that one of the most important matters for the state of Victoria is to pass laws to force politicians to take random breath tests.

Are sober policies superior to policies devised while drunk?

Do we have so many drunk politicians on the job that this warrants urgent attention?

Are Victorian judges and magistrates getting on the piss prior to arriving at the bench?  Are they daring to sentence drunks, murderers, thieves and gypsies while themselves loaded to the gills? 

Mr Andrews notably didn't suggest that random tests for drink or drugs would be imposed for surgeons, teachers, jockeys, construction workers, window cleaners, taxi drivers, welfare workers, charity collectors, IT specialists, etc. etc.
Boozy Victorian MPs would face suspension or docked a week's pay if they fail random breath tests under a new Labor plan.

Magistrates and judges would also have to submit to the on the spot checks if the Australian first powers are awarded to chief justices, judges and magistrates, the Herald Sun reports.

Opposition Leader Daniel Andrews is expected to promise today to introduce random alcohol testing at the state's court and at Parliament sittings as part of his bid for premier.

"We make laws about Victorians being .05, and judges enforce them," he said.

"I'm not having someone making laws about .05 or enforcing laws about .05 while being over .05."

 Boozy Vic MPs to face suspension as part of Labor election promise.

November 23, 2014

Little town in the US is the first to seriously consider banning all tobacco

WESTMINSTER, Mass. — The fury — and make no mistake, it is white-hot fury — went way beyond the ordinary wrath of offended citizenry. A plan here to ban the sale of tobacco has ignited a call to arms.

The outrage is aimed at a proposal by the local Board of Health that could make Westminster the first town in the country where no one could buy cigarettes, e-cigarettes, cigars and chewing tobacco.

The uproar stems not from a desire by people here to smoke — only 17 percent do (a smidge higher than the statewide average). Many say they have never touched tobacco and find the habit disgusting. Rather, they perceive the ban as a frontal assault on their individual liberties. And they say it would cripple the eight retailers in town who sell tobacco products.

The ban is the major topic at Vincent’s Country Store, where a petition against it sits on the front counter and attracts more signatures every day; at last count, 1,200 people had signed, in a town of 7,400.

As shoppers come and go, they feed one another’s fury.

“They’re just taking away everyday freedoms, little by little,” said Nate Johnson, 32, an egg farmer who also works in an auto body shop, as he stood outside the store last week. “This isn’t about tobacco, it’s about control,” he said.

Nearly 500 people packed a hearing at a local elementary school on Wednesday night held by the three members of the Board of Health. Passions ran high, and the hearing became so unruly that the board chairwoman could not maintain order; she shut down the hearing 20 minutes after it began.

The crowd started singing “God Bless America” in protest as the board members left under police protection. Angry residents circulated petitions demanding a recall election for the board members.

 Disgusted by smoking, outraged by a plan to ban tobacco

November 22, 2014

Hooked on coke

Excluding fresh fruit, vegetables and meat, the top five grocery checkout items are coca-cola, with spots 1, 2, 4 and 5. Woolworths 3 litre milk takes out spot number 3.

The fastest growing grocery category in the last year: roll your own tobacco, with a 15.7 per cent increase. Potato chips are second, and ice cream third. Medicinal items come in at number four, at 5.4 per cent increase, marginally ahead of cigarettes, which increased by 5.5 per cent.

Number six is yogurt. Seven is confectionery. Then bread, coffee and soft drinks.

So, basically, the nation is eating a lot of chips and ice cream, smoking a lot, and cheering themselves up with a glass of coke or a cup of coffee.

(The findings exclude alcohol.)

November 5, 2014

Oh for the olden days, when decent political insults were a daily event

Social Services Minister, Kevin Andrews copped a spray from the speaker in the Northern Territory.  This is how she commenced:

"Listen here you pooncy, pasty faced person from some pissant place that no one cares about."

It doesn't matter what else she had to say about Andrews, She covered the most important bits with 'poncy' and 'pasty faced'. 

Two thumbs up. 

Kevin Andrews branded pasty faced and pooncy 

November 2, 2014

Woolies goes batso

As we've all witnessed over the last decade, finding, preparing and eating food have become prestigious recreational skills, rather than a means of survival.

Along the way, Woolworths has demoted chefs, insisting, instead, that someone who spends years of their life being underpaid, overworked, and trained to cook for others to a standard that the rest of us won't ever master, are nothing more than foodies.

“We have put in a tasting station; we have a foodie here permanently who cooks up something different every day and anything that is seasonal, fresh or special. What is great about having a foodie here is that you are not really going to say, ‘Ooh, I will have wild boar tonight’, but you will if you taste it.”

The current foodie (a Parisian chef called Frederick) is also responsible for training staff and providing advice to customers on food matching. This recently extended to an event with the neighbouring Dan Murphy’s store, which opened a $30,000 bottle of whisky (in conjunction with a whisky appreciation society) and matched it with the best products from the cheese room. “That’s what the foodie does - bring a love of food into the store,” says Gill. “And we get incredible comments about it. And what I love about that is it’s not the layout of the store, it’s not the signage, not the groceries - it’s real, it’s the people, and I think that is a big change.”
Four times.  Four times she gushes about the in-house foodie.  That's no accident.  That person used to be a chef.  Now they work for Woolies.

Woolies goes gourmet

November 1, 2014

Coke-head Camel Kills Wildlife Park Owner Over Missing Coca-Cola

The American owner of a wildlife park in Mexico was killed by one of his animals this Monday. Richard Mileski of Chicago died after being kicked, bitten and sat on by a camel at the wildlife park he owned in the Mexican resort town of Tulum.
“The camel kicked and bit him practically to death, and when he was almost dead, he sat on him,” Tulum Civil Defense official Alberto Canto told the AP. “Between the blows and the weight of the camel on top of him, he was asphyxiated.”

He said it was still unclear why the animal, which was in a kind of enclosure, attacked Mileski, and authorities were sorting through a number of versions, including one that the camel was angry not to get a soft drink.

“One version is that he would always give him a Coca-Cola to drink, and apparently that day he didn’t give him the Coca-Cola,” Canto said. But, he added, “there are a lot of versions.”
Rescuers used a rope tied to a pickup truck to pull the angry dromedary off of Mileski’s body.

Angry Camel Kills Wildlife Park Owner Over Missing Coca-Cola

October 18, 2014

15-year warming pause

THE existence of a more than 15-year “pause” in average global surface temperatures has been “settled” but scientists remain split on what it means for the future.

While the level of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has continued to rise, global surface temperatures have not increased at the same pace, causing speculation over what has happened to the “missing heat”.

Some leading climate scientists claim the missing heat has been absorbed by the world’s oceans and will return with rapid future warming. But new research has found the Earth’s climate is much less sensitive to carbon dioxide than previously thought.

Michael Asten from Monash University’s School of Earth ­Atmosphere and Environment said that, while opinions on causes differed, the existence of the pause was settled.

“Only activists dare claim the pause in global temperature does not exist,” Professor Asten said.
So let's hear it from the activists, shall we: 
Climate Council chief executive Amanda McKenzie said her organisation, which includes Will Steffen and Tim Flannery, did not accept there had been a pause.

“No, 2013 marked the 37th year in a row that the yearly global temperature was hotter than the average,” Ms McKenzie said.

“Vested interests have been using the so-called pause to spread doubt and misinformation.”

Vested interests.  "So-called pause".  Misinformation. 
Ah, activists, you've got to hand them regular awards for being so darned cute with their misinformation and continual failure to address the issue by venturing to explain, scientifically, creditably, what the proven pause in so-called global warming means, and explain why their current activist pay packet is not a vested interest.

The pause is settled, kiddies, you know, the way that global warming is settled.  It's beginning to look like picking and choosing your settled science findings.  Oh, that's right, because that's exactly what it is!

15-year warming pause is 'settled'

Meanwhile, more sensible and honest people might say, even did say:
“In light of all this, we have at least to consider the possibility that the scientific establishment behind the global warming issue has been drawn into the trap of seri­ously overstating the climate problem in its effort to promote the cause.

“It is a particularly nasty trap in the context of science because it risks destroying, perhaps for centuries to come, the unique and hard-won reputation for honesty which is the basis of society’s respect for scientific endeavour.”
A pause for this message climate change numbers aren't adding up

October 17, 2014

Even giant squids hate Greenpeace

 13 October 2014

A giant squid has been filmed in a frantic attack on a Greenpeace submarine, spinning wildly as it squirts a plume of black ink.

Greenpeace posted a Vine video of the ten-legged creature flailing its limbs and whips the hull as the frightened crew point a spotlight at it to scare it away.

The encounter was filmed in the Bering Sea – the body of water between Russia and Alaska – and uploaded to Greenpeace's account on Friday.

Giant squid attacks Greenpeace submarine

Some Fear Ebola Outbreak Could Make Nation Turn to Science

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—There is a deep-seated fear among some Americans that an Ebola outbreak could make the country turn to science.

In interviews conducted across the nation, leading anti-science activists expressed their concern that the American people, wracked with anxiety over the possible spread of the virus, might desperately look to science to save the day.

“It’s a very human reaction,” said Harland Dorrinson, a prominent anti-science activist from Springfield, Missouri. “If you put them under enough stress, perfectly rational people will panic and start believing in science.”

Additionally, he worries about a “slippery slope” situation, “in which a belief in science leads to a belief in math, which in turn fosters a dangerous dependence on facts.”

Some Fear Ebola Outbreak Could Make Nation Turn to Science

Mullets: Are They So Bad, They’re Good?

No, no they're not.

There is nothing good about the mullet.

On anyone.


Mullets: Are They So Bad, They’re Good?

ABC unhinged

Unbiased, sure - it's been proven (ha!) - but unhinged, definitely.

Our ABC, still hard at work:
Looking forward to reading the book and congratulations to Richard Flanagan. It is a pity the ABC News with Juanita, massively overpaid talking head, Phillips devalued the author's win by saying in the headlines at the start of the news that the author was "ashamed to be an Australian...... because of Tony Abbot's environment policy". The actual news footage at the awards ceremony in London did not have the author making any such comment. However, the ABC found film footage from a different interview (date not supplied) where the author very briefly mentioned Australias environmental policy. It is tragic that the ABC would use such a rare and prestigious win by an Australian author to score points against Tony Abbot. Shame on you ABC and especially your head of news Kate Torney for doing so.
 Richard Flanagan war novel provides answer to book of the year question

The never ending penis chronicles

A man has had sex with 700 cars - or 'slept' with them, as the news likes to call it - one helicopter and one woman, not all at the same time.

The faithless fun of being a mechaphile

Duck Friday

Self marinating duck c/o the self marinated Kath

October 3, 2014

Unsolved stuff

The world's biggest mysteries

Did you notice?

Did anyone notice this?


At all?

Budget deficit soars to $48.5B 

Should be a crime

Not appropriate to take a toddler to an evening fashion show, but hey, maybe they couldn't afford a baby sitter, or maybe little North clearly articulated her deep interest in attending this particular fashion event.

But that's not the only crime going on here:  world's worst example of baby as celebutard accessory.

When you dress your baby in sheer clothing, because mummy is wearing a see through ... something, is it a dress? ... there should be a law somewhere that slaps the parents with a long prison stay. 

All a bit sickening. 

Baby North barely dressed to match barely dressed Kim Kardashian 

September 29, 2014

Stuff the public know

Scene: Islamic State instructs Muslims to kill Westerners; a known terrorist suspect and Muslim youth in Victoria meets two policemen while carrying two knives; attempts to kill them; one policeman kills youth.
Response: Tony Abbott says it's a ''nasty incident'', that some in the community are capable of ''very extreme acts'', but ''police will protect''; Denis Napthine says it's ''not about faith [or] ethnicity, it's about alleged behaviour of an individual''; Police Commissioner Ken Lay says ''diversity and multiculturalism is critical'' and warns of a need to ''exercise extreme caution''; Muslim leader Ghaith Krayem refuses to condemn youth, says underlying issues are social rather than religious.

Who do our leaders think they are fooling? Most of us are aware that some interpreters of the Muslim religion claim it justifies violent behaviour. We look to our leaders to acknowledge this openly and state we will not tolerate either the advocacy of violent behaviour or its actuality from whatever religion it may come.

Des Moore, South Yarra

From The Age, Letters, Sept 22 2014

September 24, 2014

Weazle words reach new lows

Soooo, in the Herald Sun, quotes from a local Muslim leader:

'Incident highlights the alienation and disaffection felt by the community'.

Calls for an inquiry. Into the shooting, not the stabbings, we assume.

Urges the public not to be too quick to apportion blame.

He says the police have been took quick to put the blame on the teenager.

He's disappointed.  He thinks that's a bit 'pre-emptive'.

'The police have come out very clearly and almost said 'it's all the young man's fault', he says.

An official statement reads:

'There needs to be a full and objective investigation into this incident to ensure that such a tragedy is never repeated.  This tragedy highlights the real cost of a failure to deal with these serious issues and why we have made numerous calls on the Australian government to deal with the root causes of alienation and disaffection of people such as this.'

You'd never know two police officers had been stabbed.